


Five Unanswered Valentine's Cards, And The Night That Changed His Mind

by Sashataakheru



Series: The Ballad of Prince Alex and King Greg: A Royal AU [5]
Category: Taskmaster (UK TV) RPF
Genre: Aftercare, Biphobia, Bisexual Angst, Bisexuality, Breakfast in Bed, Companionship, Confessions of love, Cuddles, Drunk Sex, Falling In Love, Flirting, Flogging, Fluff, Food Play, Kink, Kissing, Late Nights, Love Notes, M/M, Master/Servant, Non-Sexual Submission, Oral Sex, Polyamory, Punishments, Restraints, Romance, Rope Bondage, Rough Sex, Sharing a Bed, So much kissing, Spanking, Submission, Teasing, Texting, Unrequited Love, Valentine's Day, Valentine's cards, drunk consensual sex, floggers, leather cuffs, pain play, ropes, tied up, valentine's gifts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-12-29
Packaged: 2019-08-26 14:35:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 41,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16683454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sashataakheru/pseuds/Sashataakheru
Summary: Greg definitely didn't mind flirting with his assistant, but he was definitely not going to sleep with him. Okay, maybe he would sleep with him, but he definitely wasn't going to fall in love with him. And even if he did fall in love with him, which he definitely hadn't done, he definitely wasn't going to keep all the Valentine's cards Alex kept sending him in a bid to win his heart, no matter how adorable they were.





	1. Valentine's Day, 2013: Magnetized

**Author's Note:**

> Hello. Would you like some ridiculously adorable longfic about Greg falling in love with Alex? Of course you would. This is what I've spent November writing, and it's mostly finished bar the final chapter and other last-minute edits. It's a bit of an AU, and the timeline's a bit 'whatever works', and also it's soundtracked by ridiculously angsty Garbage songs, but go with it, it's worth it. <3 
> 
> Inspired by [this adorable little comic](https://twitter.com/JulianMac9/status/1023991931238600704), which just broke my heart a little. 
> 
> Chapter One Lyrics: [Garbage - Magnetized](http://lyrics.wikia.com/wiki/Garbage:Magnetized).

Finding a Valentine's card in the post was not something Greg expected, nor did he have any idea who it might be from. He could tell it was a Valentine’s card by the fact that the envelope was red, and there were glittery pink love heart stickers all over it. There wasn’t anything else it could possibly be, not when it was Valentine's Day anyway. The handwriting was unfamiliar, and he dismissed it as something sent by some weird stalker, hoping it would come to nothing.  
  
He felt he was too old to be getting anonymous Valentine's cards, anyway. That wasn't still a thing people did, was it? And even if it was, why would they send one to him? The last time he’d received an anonymous card like that was when he was a kid. He really hoped it had been sent by someone he knew, because the last thing he needed was for some random stranger to have found out his address and sent him mail. That really didn't sit well with him at all.  
  
He didn't even bother opening it, not at first, because he wasn't sure he wanted to know what it contained, nor who it might even be from. Something about it just creeped him out, and he wanted nothing to do with it. Even the possibility that one of his friends had sent it, even as a joke, didn’t make him smile. Instinct told him to just throw it away, but somehow that never quite actually happened. He was busy anyway, far too busy not being home long enough to think about a random card in the mail when nothing else materialised that caused him to remember it. Which is perhaps why it never quite got thrown out, just forgotten in a drawer somewhere so he didn't have to look at it.  
  
He didn't think of it again until months later, after he'd agreed to do this new show with Alex Horne called Taskmaster, where he would be the Taskmaster, and Alex would be his assistant, and he’d get to make comedians do silly things just to please him and then judge their efforts as harshly as he felt they deserved. He liked Alex immediately and he was looking forward to bossing him around, since he already seemed just so willing to do anything for him, along with the absolute power that came with the job. This was going to so much fun. It sounded like exactly the sort of job he would love, and even now, Alex was just so beautifully submissive and grovelling towards him, which made him smile with, it had to be said, just a tiny hint of sadistic malice, because for whatever reason, Alex had made just enough of a hint to make sure Greg knew that Alex's submission was his kink, and he saw Greg as his master. How Alex knew that Greg was into that, he didn't know, nor why on earth it was coming up in this context, but Alex obviously had a very firm idea of how he saw their on-screen relationship playing out, and if he wanted it to be kinky, well, Greg was fine with that. He understood that, at the very least, and what kind of dynamic Alex was aiming for by choosing him for this job.  
  
Someone tentatively touching his arm as he was leaving that first meeting caught his attention, and he turned to see Alex standing there, looking both frightened and eager, which Greg thought was a strange combination so early on in their relationship, but he didn't comment on it. Alex just seemed to be like that. It was in his eyes, and he did have lovely eyes, Greg had noticed that straight away. Big blue expressive eyes that hid absolutely nothing from him. If they'd happened to meet down the pub as strangers and had a drink together, Greg might've got lost in those eyes. But he didn't, because this was work. He did really like his eyes though. They were big and wide and scared now as he stood before him, and Greg took some delight in that as Alex begged for his attention.  
  
"Yeah? Did you want something?" Greg said.  
  
Alex almost looked at him, his fingers distractedly playing with his wedding ring. "I, well, sir, I just - I might've - did you get - there was just a little - I thought-"  
  
"Complete sentences please, Alex," Greg said.  
  
Alex looked at his feet, looking like he wanted the ground to swallow him, and Greg thought he looked absolutely pathetic standing there before him. So that was the kind of assistant he was going to get from Alex. Well, he could make that work. He did like it when his submissives were scared of him. It did make things easier when they were already broken in.  
  
Alex looked up at him and this time, fixed his gaze with his. "I just might've sent you something, a letter, sir. In the mail. But I don't know if you-" He paused and shifted uncomfortably and looked away from him, embarrassed.  
  
Greg didn't really know what he was talking about and almost said so, but the sadist in him had a better idea, just to see how he'd react. "Now why would I keep anything that you'd sent me, Alex? I'm pretty sure I just threw it out without even reading it."  
  
Alex's expression went from surprised to disappointed to upset and settled on heart-broken, even if Greg had no idea why he might even feel that way about something he'd sent him. Alex honestly looked like he wanted to cry but was unwilling to break down in front of him as he put on a brave face that Greg saw straight through. Greg almost wanted to comfort him, because he wasn't so much of a dick he'd make him cry and laugh about it, but Alex pulled away when he went to touch him, refusing to let him get close.  
  
"Oh. No, no, it's alright, sir, it doesn't matter, it wasn't important, I'm sorry to have bothered you, sir, I'll see you later," Alex mumbled, brushing off his words before he turned to go.  
  
Greg watched him retreat, for he was definitely retreating, everything about his body language told him that. Alex stared at the ground walking rapidly away from him, his hands shoved deep into his trouser pockets, his body all huddled into himself like all bullied kids tend to do to make themselves look small and less like a target, which was quite the achivement for a man over 6ft tall. Greg wouldn't have been surprised if he was crying then, hiding it from him because he was ashamed.  
  
At least he cried easily, or might be easily coaxed into it, either was fine with him. Greg could work with that. He could also work with the beaten up kid who flinched at shadows. He'd have to see how Alex wanted their relationship to work, but he was already running through what he could do with an assistant like that on stage before an audience, and how much fun he could have with him. He could already think of a few things he could make him do, and what kind of punishments he might hand out if Alex misbehaved, because of course there would be punishments. Greg was that kind of master.  
  
"Jesus Christ, Alex, if this how you are now, you are not going to like having me as your master," Greg said before he went to leave.  
  
Greg thought nothing of his strange conversation with Alex until he remembered the Valentine's card he'd got in the mail just as he'd got home. There was no real reason why he thought of the card more than anything else Alex might have sent him, but it came to mind if only because it was the one thing in his recent life that remained unexplained, and un-dealt with, and perhaps it was from him. He couldn't remember if he had actually thrown it out, or if he'd just thought he was going to, and if he had kept it, where it might actually be hiding. Perhaps the card wasn't sent by Alex, but he just felt he needed to check, just in case it was. He had no idea why Alex would send him a Valentine’s card, but someone clearly had, and he needed to know who it was.  
  
It took him an hour to find it, tucked away under a pile of papers at the back of a drawer. Curious, he opened it and found the sweetest little card inside, depicting a little bear giving a heart-shaped box to a larger bear. It looked handmade, but there was nothing to suggest who had made it. Perhaps Alex had.  
  
Inside the card, there were more glittery love hearts, and Alex had written him the most hesitant, humble, non-committal little love note he'd ever seen, as if he was afraid of scaring him away by sounding too keen. Even his handwriting was hesitant, as if he was scared to put his proposal in writing. Because in between all the not-quite-declarations of love, Alex was actually writing to him about Taskmaster, and it made the whole thing feel, well, a little weird, even though it was adorable in its own strange way.  
  
Because even though it was such a hesitant note, Greg could see what else Alex had left in there, whether he meant to or not, that suggested Alex might have some sort of crush on him. Why else send a proposal like that in a Valentine's card if he didn't have have some sort of romantic feelings for him? That Alex was married bothered him a little, if he was honest, because Alex didn't strike him as the cheating kind of man, but there he was sending him a Valentine's card that seemed to suggest he loved him, and he wasn't sure what on earth to do with any of that except that it didn't feel like something he should encourage because surely it would just end in tears, so this time, he was definitely going to throw it away and forget about it. That's definitely what he was going to do as he left the card in the drawer and walked away.


	2. Valentine's Day, 2014: #1 Crush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which, everything just gets very complicated very quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mean, I did say this was gonna be longfic. It's sitting at around 37k now. :P
> 
> Also brb channelling all my bisexual angst through Greg. Sorry, Greg. XD
> 
> Chapter Two Lyrics: [#1 Crush - Garbage](http://lyrics.wikia.com/wiki/Garbage:Number_1_Crush).

Alex was persistent, Greg couldn't fault him for that. He'd woken up to find a present waiting for him outside his front door, clearly hand-delivered, with a little card on top. He wasn't expecting any presents, and he wasn't sure he really wanted any either, not like this, but Alex had sent a cryptic little text very late the night before, telling him there was something waiting for him. If it wasn't for that, he might not have seen it, because he hadn't planned to go out today. But he did go and find it, and this time, he did recognise Alex's handwriting on the card, and wondered what he'd sent him and why he had even sent him a second card in the first place. It wasn't even Valentine's Day, but Greg couldn't think of anything else it could be, either, not with all those adorable love hearts drawn on the envelope in sparkly pink glitter pen.  
  
_Is this another Valentine's card Alex?_ , Greg sent.  
  
There was a pause before Alex replied, a little too quickly, as if he'd been waiting on him all morning. _It might be, Sir. I hope You don't mind, Sir, that I wasn't able to get it to You at the right time, sorry, it's been a bit busy over here lately x_  
  
That was true enough. They hadn't seen each other for a while, so he could hardly blame him for missing Valentine's Day, even if he hadn't really asked for a present anyway. Part of him really hoped Alex wasn’t going to make this a thing, to keep giving him Valentine’s cards in some vain hope he might eventually fall for him, because he really didn’t want to complicate their relationship like that. It was already complicated and they hadn’t even started filming anything yet. The last thing he needed was for this to become a ridiculous mess that they couldn't end up resolving and it would just break everything apart.  
  
_No its fine I don't mind. When are you coming over next? I miss you_ , Greg replied.  
  
_Won't be till next week, Sir, sorry, I can't make it any sooner than that, but I'll bring You something nice to make up for my absence x_ , Alex sent.  
  
_You'd better there's quite a backlog of tasks waiting for you Alex_ , Greg replied.  
  
_Save them all for me, Sir, I'll get them all done for You just the way You like_ , Alex sent. _Oh, I have to go now, Sir, but do enjoy the present. I'll call You tonight to make up for it, love You, Alex xx_  
  
_Call me yes please Alex I miss hearing your voice. Talk to you later boy_ , Greg sent.  
  
Greg put his phone down and picked up the gift. The present itself was wrapped in gold paper and tied with a red ribbon, and Alex had clearly drawn little love hearts all over it too in red marker. It was a bit much, if he was being honest. He didn't really go in for all this stuff. It felt ... insincere. Like he was trying too hard to show how much he loved him. The card and the gift alone, without the excess of love hearts, would have been more than sufficient. In fact, he might have preferred just an ordinary gift, rather than a Valentine's gift. Then it wouldn't feel like he was being wooed by someone who's affections he was never going to return. It just felt cruel to continue this when there was no chance they would ever be a couple.  
  
But that was half the problem. Everything was just so complicated. He hadn't expected Alex to take his assistant role so seriously, and it was so hard to say no to Alex when he kept saying he didn’t mind, that he’d do anything Greg asked him to do. He hadn’t asked for Alex to do this kind of work for him, he hadn’t even insisted on it as part of his contract for doing Taskmaster, but even he found it was handy to have someone he could boss around and collect his mail and take care of his flat while he was away who didn't seem to mind, and who didn't ask to be paid. If Alex wanted to be like that, Greg wasn't going to complain. He was a lazy man, and it saved him from doing all those annoying little jobs that he always felt too busy to do himself.  
  
And if he was really being honest, it did give him a wonderful rush of power to see Alex kneeling at his feet, asking for orders, gazing up at him adoringly with those big beautiful blue eyes he loved so much. Sure, he'd had submissives before, but he’d never had anyone kneel before him quite like Alex did. There was just something about just how completely Alex gave himself to his master, how he knelt before him in complete submission, with utter and enduring devotion. He'd never seen anything like it before, and there was a part of him that was concerned, because that kind of devotion usually turned out to be dangerously obsessive, and he suspected that Alex had been devoted to him long before this had even started. He wasn't sure how involved he wanted to get with him if he was going to be like that. That was the kind of devotion that led to rejection, stalking, and his eventual murder, right?  
  
Perhaps Alex was just trying to get him in the right mindset to do Taskmaster by establishing that master/servant relationship as early as possible, though he'd never stated this was the case. It did give him some insight into how Alex saw their relationship though, and Greg did find their conversations about that more insightful than perhaps Alex had intended, if only because he could see from his body language very clearly what Alex wanted, and what Alex really wanted was for Greg to be his master, his Dom, and the more they talked about it, the more Greg found he didn't quite object to that as much as he thought he would. Alex didn't just want him to pretend to be his master, giving him endless little jobs to do, he really was willing to do that in real life. Alex promised to be faithfully obedient to his master's word, willing to do anything, anything at all, for his master.  
  
For a while, Greg did wonder if it was wise to encourage this sort of relationship, even if it was purely non-sexual. Alex was an eager little submissive, always wanting to please him, and that, combined with his unrequited devotion, did make Greg wonder if agreeing to be his master would only serve to encourage his declarations of love in unhealthy ways that he might not be able to get out of. But Greg was a good master who always had complete control of his submissives. If Alex was as obedient as he claimed he would be, he could shut down his devotion right away, and nothing more would come of it. He put his faith in his own domination and decided to take him on. It was just giving him little shit jobs to do, it was hardly the sort of sexual submission he was used to from his other submissives. That would be fine. Because it meant less for him to do when he couldn't be bothered.  
  
Greg had never had a submissive that he wasn't sleeping with before, which did take a bit of adjustment for them both. There were certain things that Greg liked doing with his submissives that were probably not wise to do with Alex, and it took a while to decide on appropriate punishments that didn't involve all the usual methods he'd grown used to using. But Alex seemed keen and excited to have him as a master, and Greg enjoyed his submission. It just seemed they were made for each other.  
  
It certainly hadn't taken long for Greg to get used to giving him things to do, and Alex was good at his job. The times when he wasn't was when Alex encouraged him to punish him, to give him what he deserved for failing to do his job properly, and Greg was fine with that, too. He discovered he liked seeing Alex suffer, and Alex didn't seem to mind the suffering, either, which gave him something to work with when deciding just how to punish him. The problem was finding the right kind of pain that didn't turn him on, because Alex really loved pain. Greg had never had a pain slut before. Alex, it seemed, was a submissive of extremes, everything was felt or experienced to the fullest, and Greg was enjoying getting to know him and how he worked best.  
  
Alex did try his best to push his boundaries though. In spite of agreeing this would be totally non-sexual, Alex still kept finding ways to push for more intimacy than perhaps Greg had originally wanted. The problem was that Greg found he quite enjoyed the attention, and couldn't help reciprocating beause Alex seemed to enjoy it too. He knew Alex was married, he knew he wasn't available, that he shouldn't be doing this, but it was just innocent teasing, right? That was totally fine. That was just how he was. Greg could make anything sound sexual, even if it wasn't. And anyway, Alex was nothing if not endlessly devoted to praising him every chance he got, and Greg adored it.  
  
Indeed, there was one night, where they were meant to be talking about the show, where instead Alex knelt before him and whispered what sounded like quasi-religious praise all over his body while Greg lay on his sofa, shivering at the sensation of Alex's breath on his skin. Alex lay his hands on him, kissed his hands, kissed his feet, murmured what sounded very much like some kind of Gregorian chant, probably in Latin, and Greg honestly didn't know what to do with any of that except lie there with his eyes closed and drink it all in. Of course he was a god. Finally, someone had noticed.  
  
Perhaps that had been taking it too far. Perhaps Greg should've stopped it there. Perhaps he was encouraging Alex's obsessive devotion in ways that weren't very healthy for the survival of their relationship. But, God, the way Alex bowed before him, how he cowered and averted his gaze and spent the best part of an hour just praising him endlessly, there was no way Greg wasn't going to just lie there and take it, because no one had ever praised him like that before, not to that extent, and he adored every moment of it. There'd always been little comments, moments of praise and worship, but Alex was a master at it. He took it to places Greg had never conceived of before, and his ego accepted all of it gladly. Which was probably how Alex had managed to push their intimacy boundaries to the point where he was willing to let Alex massage him and touch him and rub fragrant oils into his skin, because Alex did all of this with endless praise and Greg never tired of it.  
  
The Dom in him really enjoyed having a servant so willingly obedient, so willing to do anything, anything at all for him, and it made Greg keep pushing him to see how far he really would go. Surely, Alex had to have limits. Somewhere surely there was a line Alex wouldn't cross, even though he'd been ordered to. Every submissive had limits. Part of getting to know them was figuring out where those limits were. What sort of ridiculous things could he make him do for him before he baulked at it? How much intimacy could he push for before Alex pulled away? How many kinds of awful, disgusting things could he make Alex eat as a punishment before he said no? How far would he let himself be humiliated before it got too much? How obedient was Alex really willing to be when they weren't on screen, when no one else was watching, when Greg was the only one he was accountable to?  
  
It turned into a game, this back and forth between them, as Greg tried to make him say no, and Alex just kept obeying him anyway, as if he didn't even care. To be fair, he did hesitate before eating the dog biscuit, but he still ate it, to Greg's sheer amazement. Hot chillies he didn't seem to mind, either. Alex relished in the feeling of being tied up and left alone, and spanking had proved to be something Alex very much enjoyed, no matter how hard Greg hit him. Of course, there were things Greg would never try, because he wasn't trying to actually injure him or make him bleed, nor was he trying to deliberately make him sick, but that didn't rule out much, and Alex rose to the challenge every single time.  
  
But when he wasn't trying to make Alex suffer, he found himself flirting with him instead. He wasn’t sure who had started it first, if he was being honest. It just sort of appeared, like it was a natural extension of their chemistry together. Greg had never been averse to cute boys flirting with him, and if that's how they wanted to be with each other, that was fine with him. Perhaps unwise, considering how devoted Alex was to him, but Greg didn't care as long as nothing came of it.  
  
Besides, the way Alex blushed when Greg whispered truly filthy things to him always brought him joy, which just spurred him on to see just how far he could go. Greg did notice all the little touches, all the little ways Alex accidentally-on-purpose brushed against him, or put his butt in such a position that Greg couldn’t help giving it a little spank. The adorable way Alex left sweet little love notes, and sometimes little gifts, for him when he’d finished his work before Greg had got home. The way Greg could just say anything innocuous and it would just sound naturally sexual, which made Alex blush and giggle. How much he could goad Alex into making a massage as erotic as possible without making it sexual. The flirting just became a natural part of their interactions. Greg didn't mind at all if that's where it stayed, and Alex was happy to flirt back.  
  
But that wasn't where it stayed. Alex was unflinchingly obedient, and willing to do anything at all, and the extent of his willingness to do anything extended to sex as well. Greg didn't believe him at first, thinking it was just a joke. It was just Alex awkwardly flirting with him, perhaps because he felt this was something Greg wanted from him, rather than a serious request. There was no way Alex was actually asking for sex. That didn't happen. That couldn't happen. But, no, Alex really was willing to let Greg use his body for sex if he really wanted to, even if it took him a while to actually pluck up the courage to say it so that Greg really understood what he was asking for.  
  
Greg was uncomfortable with it at first, unsure he should even be allowing Alex to get so involved with him, and that maybe he'd taken things too far, but Alex kept asking, kept saying he wanted to, that he was allowed to, that he would do anything for him, anything at all, that he could use his body for his own pleasure. He was very close to telling Alex to back off, that they'd taken things too far, because Alex was married, for fuck's sake, what the fuck was he doing begging _him_ for sex?  
  
But then Alex would massage him and rub him down and whisper praise to him again, and Greg ended up saying nothing at all. Because it wasn't like Greg wasn't attracted to him because he really was. It was his eyes, and his beautiful submission, and how good he was with his hands, and oh, god, if Alex had been single, he would've definitely fucked him by now. But that was a thought for another place, another time. It couldn't happen now. It didn't stop him thinking about it, because he definitely would if Alex was available, but he wasn't, and Greg wasn't going to give in. Alex was married, and Greg wouldn't be the other man.  
  
What made him give in to him in the end was an off-hand comment at a party telling Alex to suck his dick as a way of shutting down whatever it was they’d been playfully arguing about, and Greg honestly wasn't expecting Alex to suddenly be kneeling between his legs as his fingers began undoing his belt, as if he'd just given him an order instead. Greg had to stop him, because there were people watching, but he was pleasantly drunk enough to grasp his shirt and pull him into a bathroom, away from everyone else, with the aim of telling him off, but then Alex had kissed him and his hands were doing things to him that Greg wasn't sure he wanted to stop anymore as Alex knelt down before him. Because it had been a while, if Greg was being honest, and he didn't realise how much he'd needed to be touched until Alex's hands were on him. By the time Alex had his mouth around his cock, Greg decided he really wasn't as against it as much as he thought he was.  
  
Greg woke the next day to find Alex sleeping beside him in his bed, and he really wasn't sure how he felt about that. There was no doubt in his mind that they'd had sex, even if the finer details were lost to him. He knew. His body knew. Also, they were both naked underneath the duvet, and as he looked around, their clothes had been left all over the floor. Memories of the night drifted into his mind, of the hurry to be together, of the gentle way Alex touched him, how Alex insisted on a collar and let Greg drag him around, of how even as he bent over Alex to fuck him, Alex was still praising him. How amazing it had felt to have sex with him and hold him close and suck him off after as a reward. How utterly beautiful Alex had looked as he'd come. How they'd fallen asleep in each other's arms, Alex kissing him with his soft, sweet lips, and Greg didn't want it to end.  
  
It was always after the good sex that he woke up feeling like this. He shouldn't have done that. He'd tried so hard not to give in to him, but he hadn't been strong enough to resist Alex. He scolded himself for letting himself be swayed by his touch so easily. He wasn't that desperate, was he? Perhaps he was, and he'd been lying to himself about it, pretending he had principles that disappeared as soon as Alex touched him.  
  
"Fuck. Fuck. Jesus Christ."  
  
He could already hear Alex telling him it was fine, that he was allowed to, that his wife was alright with it, but he'd heard it all before, and it just sounded like bullshit to him. He ignored the nagging little voice that told him Alex wasn't like all those other men, and that maybe this time, Alex was telling the truth. But that just sounded like him making excuses for his shitty behaviour. Yes, he liked sex, but he'd never been the drunken shag kind of man, at least, that's what he liked to think. He didn't need to get drunk to lose his inhibitions and fuck someone. He usually just went after who he wanted, and half the time, it tended to work.  
  
But that wasn't what happened this time. He'd kept to his word, and hadn't made a move on him. Perhaps he shouldn't have encouraged the flirting, perhaps the massages were taking things too far - even though Alex was really, really good at massages, perhaps he should have shut down Alex begging for sex sooner, perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. None of that mattered now. There was no denying what had happened. Now all there was to do was clean up the mess, because there was always a mess when he ended up fucking someone who really belonged to someone else, who shouldn’t have been in his bed at all. Except this time, he’d known full well Alex wasn’t available and fucked him anyway. He couldn’t pretend he didn’t know, not this time. He liked it better when they’d just lied to him to get him into bed. He wasn’t guilty then. But he was now, and he felt awful about it. Nothing good would come of this, nothing good at all.  
  
He glanced over at Alex, and for a moment, he didn't want to wake him. He did look so very peaceful, which was in stark comparison to the hangover slowly creeping into his skull. He wasn't quite ready to concede that he was getting too old to be getting drunk as often as he was. Nevertheless, conversations needed to be had, and he shoved Alex awake. When Alex eventually woke, Greg watched him sit up, realise where he was, and suddenly understand the situation they were now in.  
  
"Oh, dear. This isn't the bed I was meant to sleep in last night," Alex said. He squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his temples. “Fuck, I did not need to drink that much. Fuck.”  
  
"You're telling me," Greg said. "Were you planning on letting me take you home last night? Or did that just happen because we were both pissed and you little fucker, Alex Horne, you kissed me like a fucking lunatic?"  
  
Alex smiled as he remembered what had happened, and glanced at him with a shy, but slightly coy expression. "But you just looked so handsome, sir, I couldn't help it. I thought you would stop me like you usually do, but you didn't, so I thought it's what you wanted, so I kept going."  
  
Greg just looked at him, and Alex suddenly looked hesitant, anxious, and afraid. All the colour drained from his face as he spoke.  
  
"It _is_ what you wanted, isn't it? I didn't - take things too far? I thought you wanted it, I- you took my hand and told me to come home with you, sir. I thought you were keen, so I came with you. Don't tell me you didn't want it, sir. I couldn't live with myself if I'd done that to you. I’m not that kind of man. I wouldn't have - I don’t do that - I didn’t mean to, I-"  
  
Greg grasped his shoulders and caught his gaze. Alex fell silent, still looking scared and apologetic.  
  
"No, Alex, don't. You did nothing wrong. I _was_ keen. I _wanted_ it. That's the problem. I shouldn't want you at all. You're married, Alex, what the fuck are you doing in my bed? You should be at home with your wife," Greg said.  
  
Alex lowered his head, looking like he was about to burst into tears, and Greg, in spite of himself, brought him into a comforting hug. Alex clung to him and Greg could hear him begin to cry.  
  
"Oh, no, Alex, don't cry, it's alright. It was my fault for giving in as much as it's yours. I should've stopped you. How do we make this better?" Greg said, rubbing his back gently, trying to calm him down.  
  
"You don't want me, I know you don't. My love will never be enough for you. I'll just be your assistant. That's all I am to you," Alex said between sobs.  
  
Greg didn't quite know what to say to that, because he'd always dismissed Alex's devotion as just fawning adoration, part of his way of being meek and submissive by telling him how much he loved him. Just part of his strange way of getting into character or something. And it wasn't as if Greg didn't respond to that, either. He loved hearing it, to be praised and told he was loved, and perhaps he'd encouraged him too much. But his words troubled him, because he was beginning to think he might have made a mistake, and that Alex's love for him was genuinely felt and incredibly real to him, and that was a whole different sort of problem that he really didn't want to deal with. He wanted to run far, far away from it, because he knew what would happen if he gave in to it. It scared him. He remembered now that Alex had sent that first Valentine's card before he'd even agreed to do Taskmaster, so had he just been after him for the job because he'd been in love with him the whole time? Greg really didn't know what to do with that, and wondered whether it was actually too late to stop it now, even if it could be stopped. He didn't want to think of what the consequences would be. It's not like he didn't want to do Taskmaster, because he really did, and he was really looking forward to making it come to life with Alex. It's just ... it didn't need the complication of Alex being in love with him at all.  
  
As he held Alex close, and murmured little words of comfort to him as he tried to make him stop crying, Greg knew the only thing to do would be to break his heart and reject him, as soon as possible. Alex needed to understand that Greg didn't love him, and likely never would. Greg needed to be cruel now to save him from something so much worse later on. It would be madness to fall in love with him while they were doing a show together. Maybe if Alex had been single, he wouldn't care so much, but he wasn't. Alex was married. To a woman. He was assumed to be straight, even if he wasn't, and he certainly wasn't available, no matter how much Greg might want him. Greg didn't want to be outed for fucking a married man, because he knew he'd get all the shit for it, because that's how these things always worked. He knew exactly what they'd say about him, and it wouldn't be pretty. They'd say the same things about Alex, too, but Greg knew it would break him. Alex wouldn't survive a scandal.  
  
Greg could already hear all the garbage they'd throw at him, all the vile things they'd say about him, if it ever got out. He would finally be labelled as queer, as gay, aginst his will, and no matter how true it might be, it would still hurt because everyone would know where he really belonged. All that pain and hatred would just knot itself in with all the other bitterness he carried with him, and he was sure he'd never see Alex again. He might even lose his career over it. God, that would be humiliating. He liked Alex, but he wasn't sure he was prepared to throw it all away for him.  
  
He had too many of those insults in his head. Too many bad memories of not acting straight enough. He'd learnt to fight back because he could, because it made them find other reasons to reject him that still hurt, but not as much. He'd spent a long time policing his own behaviour, never letting himself act too gay or he'd get in trouble, because playing straight was easier, safer, than being out. It stopped people questioning him because he didn't act gay enough to trigger their suspicions. He could make people assume he was straight, even though he wasn't, and no one would bat an eyelid, and that was just fine with him.  
  
But he didn't really fit into gay spaces either, because when he was growing up, you were either gay or straight, not both, and Greg didn't want to pick a side because he couldn't. He'd spent a long time thinking he must really be gay, that he'd just tricked himself into liking girls because that's what was expected of him, but it didn't work. He liked girls, and he liked boys, and he felt something must be wrong with him, because that shouldn't be possible. It was one or the other, not both. Bisexuality wasn't a thing, it didn't exist, at least, not in the places he went to. They just said he was confused.  
  
He'd grown more comfortable in his own skin and with his own sexuality as he'd got older, and he didn't care so much about fitting in as much as he used to. But it was still something he was reluctant to be too open about or even label if he didn't have to, not if he wanted to keep having sex with people. He didn't mean to hide, or to lie, but it just made things easier. He could be whoever they wanted him to be, and that was fine with him. Besides, if saying he was gay meant not having to hear other gay men tell him he didn't exist because he liked men and women, well, that was a lie worth telling, and he was very good at lying.  
  
But it was never easy navigating two very different worlds. He didn't feel like he belonged most of the time, that he wasn't gay enough, nor was he really straight enough either. But he wasn't going to start going around kissing men in public, just to prove a point. They'd just assume he'd picked his side at last, which he really hadn't done at all. He was straight if he slept with women, and gay if he slept with men, and he wasn't allowed to be both. He just couldn't win, no matter who he was with. He felt he was too old to still be caring about this, but he couldn't help it.  
  
He envied Alex, if he was being honest. Alex had none of these hang-ups. He seemed so at ease with himself and his sexuality. He even said he was bisexual with a certain amount of confidence, and Greg almost didn't believe it because he still had all that shit in his head that told him bisexuality didn't exist, even though he knew that's what he was. He also wasn't sure he'd ever heard anyone call themselves bisexual before either, well, no one over 30, at any rate. That was for the young queer boys who weren't afraid of being seen, who hadn't had to fight to exist, and Greg just couldn't identify with them at all. And here was Alex saying that word, and being so self-assured, and Greg just didn't know how to respond to him, so he said nothing.  
  
But all those assumptions about him and his sexuality would be shattered if any relationship with Alex got out. Greg had never come out for a reason, and he didn't want it to be because he'd fallen in love with Alex. Sure, his friends probably wouldn't care, though they might give him shit for falling for a married man, but they wouldn't be the ones shouting obscenities at him in the media for weeks. Alex would get yelled at, too, but Alex looked innocent. Greg didn't. Greg would be the one in the shit for leading him astray, for breaking a marriage apart, because obviously that's what gay men did, even if that wasn't the case. They wouldn't care if it was consensual, they wouldn't care that it had all come from Alex, it wouldn't matter. Alex could shout the truth from the rooftops, and he wouldn't be listened to. Perhaps he was exaggerating, perhaps it was just bad memories affecting his judgement, perhaps things had moved on from how badly gay men were outed and vilified and demonised in the past, but he couldn't ignore it. He just had a deep feeling in his bones that this was a bad idea, that it would all end in tears, and that a relationship with Alex could never happen.  
  
He was the one with power over Alex, he knew that very well, and there was no denying that would come out too, because of course it would. He'd be painted as the one seducing Alex, coercing Alex, enslaving Alex to the point where he was in love with him, and even if it wasn't true, mud sticks, clings to you like a bad smell. You never wash it off completely. Alex wouldn't survive that. His marriage might not survive that. Greg didn't want that on his conscience, to expose Alex to all the shit he was used to dealing with, if he didn't have to.  
  
The best thing, Greg knew very well, would be to put an end to it right now. To tell Alex it could never happen, because the cost was far too high for both of them if it ever got out, and there was always the chance it could happen. These things never stay secrets forever; they can't, that's not how people work. They wouldn’t even need much, they could just be photographed kissing somewhere public, perhaps, and that might be all they’d need to destroy them. Maybe it wouldn’t be that bad, maybe they weren’t big enough for everyone to care, but the worst-case scenario was all that filled his head, and he could think of no other way it might play out. Nothing in his experience told him this would ever result in anything good. It would just be pain and misery until they’d ruined him.  
  
But even if he wanted to break his heart, even if he knew that was the right thing to do, at that moment, Alex was crying in his arms, and he just couldn't. Not now, anyway. He held him close, pressed a kiss to his temple, because why not kiss him at this point, and wished there was a better way. That the world worked differently. That he didn't need to hurt him at all.  
  
"I know you don't want to hear this, Alex, but you know this can't happen. We can't have a relationship, not while we're working together. Trust me when I say the risk is just too high. Stop it now before things get out of our control and you have to hear all the awful things they'll say about us," Greg said, being as diplomatically cruel as he thought he could get away with in a way that wouldn't make Alex even more upset than he already was.  
  
“I don’t care what they’ll say. I know what they’ll say, but I don’t care. I don’t care. It doesn’t matter. We won't be outed, we'll be fine. It'll be fine. I'm allowed to. She knows. It's alright. That's what I've been trying to tell you for so long. It's alright. You can sleep with me if you want to, she won't mind," Alex said.  
  
"No, Alex, please, just listen to me. I know how bad it can get, and I never want you to experience that. It’s better if we don’t do this, then we don’t have anything they can hang us with,” Greg said. “Don’t … don’t love me. Just don’t. Please don’t. It makes it so much harder to tell you this, but it needs to stop. We're meant to be working together, Alex. We shouldn’t be sleeping together. I don’t care if your wife’s okay with it. We can’t do this, and in your heart, you know that’s true. You obey every single order I give you, Alex, so why can’t you obey this one?”  
  
Alex hung on to him tightly as he wept against his shoulder. “I wish I could forget you, sir, but I can’t. I don’t know how to not love you, I think it would break me. Everything is tangled up inside my heart, sir, my devotion, my love, my service, my submission, my marriage, I can’t tear one of them free without tearing them all apart. I don’t know what to do. I’m afraid it might just kill the show before we’ve even started it.”  
  
Greg held him close, feeling a deep sense of inevitable dread in the pit of his stomach. He could see exactly where this was going to end up, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about that. “Yeah, I was really hoping you weren’t going to say that."  
  
“My wife knows. About my love for you. I couldn’t hide that from her. She knew before I was even aware of it. She said I look at you the same way I look at her. But I wouldn’t have - I would never have kept it secret from her. I would never - I don’t cheat - I gave myself to her when I married her and I’ll never leave her. She means the world to me. It's just - we're polyamorous - but I'd never - I just - I think I just met two people who I belong with. I didn't think I could do that. She has, she's had other lovers, and I loved that, because I like the humiliation, but I'd never loved anyone else until I saw you. I didn't think I could fall in love with anyone else the way I love her. But there was no one else I wanted for this other than you. It had to be you. And I don't know why I fell in love with you, but I did. But I'd never loved two people before, and I didn't know if I could love you and her without hurting either of you. I was always open to it, but it had never happened before, and it scared me. It’s tortured me. Do you think this was easy? That I just gave in? I spent weeks wondering how I could possibly love two people with the same passion, that I wasn't choosing you over her. Because when I fall in love, I fall in love completely, and it's just overwhelming. It was just so overwhelming to love two people to that extent. I didn’t sleep. I spent so long talking to her about it. I wondered if our marriage could survive it. I tried to let you go because I was too scared to risk it, but I couldn't. And all it’s done is made me miserable, because I know, Greg, I know we can’t be together, but my heart wants it so badly it hurts, I need you both like I need oxygen, and I don’t know how to make it stop,” Alex said through his tears.  
  
"Alex, no, don't do this to yourself. We've got a show to do. We can't just become lovers, it’ll ruin everything, you know it will. Don’t make me scare you out of it by telling you exactly what they’ll say about you when it gets out. I know. I’ve heard it all before. And you do realise, Alex, that your kids will have to deal with all that shit too? Kids are mean bastards when they want to be, and if it ever gets out, your kids will bear the brunt of it as much as you will. They’ll get teased because their dad’s a faggot. Don’t think it won’t happen, because it will. Do you really want to risk them getting beaten up because of you?" Greg said, putting his foot down.  
  
"But I love you-"  
  
"No, Alex, don't. Go home. You've got a family to worry about, and I've got things to do. Fuck off. I'll - I'll talk to you later," Greg said.  
  
Alex, to his credit, did leave when he was told to go, after Greg had made sure he’d calmed down and stopped crying. He made him promise to tell his wife, so there were no secrets. In spite of Alex's insistence that she wouldn't mind, that it was alright, Greg made him promise, because even if it was alright with her, he didn't want Alex going behind her back and not telling her about this, not if he wasn't meant to go home with him at all. If she really had no problem with it, then it nothing more would come from it. But Greg wouldn't be his dirty little secret. He didn't believe in that kind of thing because concealing the truth hurt more than if he'd just told the truth in the first place.  
  
Once he was alone, Greg lay in bed, trying to get his head straight. God, he had spent so long fighting this. He had done everything he could to not give in to his desires and fuck Alex because he knew he shouldn't. He knew it would end badly. He knew there was no point in pursuing it. But he'd given in to a moment of weakness and now he had to deal with that. It wasn't that he hadn't enjoyed it, either, now that he had the space to remember what had happened, and that was the problem. He hadn't wanted to encourage this, but it hadn't worked, and now he'd fucked him, and he couldn't take that back.  
  
If he'd been a bad fuck, maybe Greg could've let it slide as something that happened, but not something he wanted to repeat. But it wasn't. It was ... nice. In spite of the drunken eagerness to get off, Alex was still considerate and kind, and Greg didn't know how to take that. That wasn't how things usually went. But then again, it had been a while, and he'd forgotten how nice it was to be touched and loved. Sure, he'd had a lot of massages, and those had been lovely, but that wasn't the same as the touch of a lover, and he hadn't realised he'd been craving that as badly as he had.  
  
The more he lay there thinking about it, the more he realised he didn’t regret it at all. Alex’s submission had made him entirely pliable and eager to please in a way that he’d never experienced before, and he found he quite liked that. Sure, some of his past submissives had been somewhat willing to try new things, but they had limits. Alex didn't, or at least, Greg hadn't found any yet. The utterly sweet way Alex sucked his cock was hotter than he’d expected. He hadn’t expected Alex to be good at sex, but he was, and in ways that surprised him. He felt he’d seen a glimpse of Alex’s true nature in that night of drunken sex, and he was curious about how much more he might find out if he kept on having sex with him.  
  
That thought nagged at him for weeks. Now that he’d actually slept with him, and that Alex had apparently been telling the truth because nothing bad had happened at all since Alex told his wife about that night, their flirting changed completely, and Greg would be lying if he said he hadn’t fantasied about having sex with him again. To his credit, after that night, Alex toned down his devotion, trying his best not to let his love for Greg overwhelm them, but he still kept asking for sex, just subtly, just every so often, making these little touches Greg just couldn’t ignore. Greg had always been very physical with his lovers, and he didn’t need Alex encouraging him to touch him, though it didn’t help. God, it was even just in the way Alex would sit at his feet, and look up at him with those lovely blue eyes of his, or how he might kiss his hands in penance, or eagerly present his bare butt for a spanking, making sure Greg hit him as hard as he could if he'd been disobedient.  
  
In the end, Greg couldn’t resist him forever. Alex kept teasing him, kept reminding him his wife was alright with it, that he was allowed to sleep with him, and in the end, Greg let Alex wear him down until he agreed they could have sex. But that's all. Just sex. No one was falling in love. That wasn't allowed to happen. He insisted on confirmation from his wife, just to make sure Alex wasn't lying, because he didn’t want her to be out of the loop if she had indeed given him permission. Once she had confirmed this was the case, only then did he agree that they could have sex.  
  
Even then, he was still hesitant. He didn't want to mess things up, and he just had a feeling Alex was the romantic sort who wouldn't just be able to leave it at sex. Still, they did manage to make it work, even if all they had time for was a quick fuck every now and then in between all their other distractions. Greg didn’t want to take advantage of him, or insist they have sex every time he saw him, because he wasn’t that kind of man, and he didn’t want Alex to feel forced into it just because he was his master and they had different sex drives. He waited for Alex to ask permission, to show he was keen, because that made for better sex, anyway, when Alex gave all his attention to pleasuring him. And, God, it was totally worth it to experience Alex sucking his cock when he wasn’t pissed.  
  
It also encouraged Greg to see just how far Alex would go, now that they'd broken the sex taboo. Was there really anything he wouldn't do for him? Yes, there was only one thing he wouldn't do: Alex wouldn't top him, because he wasn’t allowed to. But Alex had a high pain tolerance, and seemed keen and willing to do literally anything else with him, which was the sort of permission that went to Greg’s head, because he was always willing to try new things on a willing partner, and Alex would try anything, and that scared him a little. He felt Alex had given him too much power, and he kind of wished Alex had firmer boundaries. It might have tempered his imagination a little.  
  
Inevitably, everything became a mess. What had started off as little errands and general admin had come to encompass cooking, massages, cleaning, bathing, punishment, and sex. Alex insisted on being subservient and submissive, ceding power to Greg at all times as he ordered him around. Greg wasn't necessarily against this kind of behaviour from his submissives, because it was nice to have them so respectful towards their master, but it still felt like a mess, because he didn't really know what they really were. Was he in a relationship with him? Was he still single because it was just sex, and Alex was just his assistant? Were they friends? Lovers? He just didn't know, but he wasn't about to stop it. He was enjoying it too much to end it now.  
  
The only thing that perhaps stopped it getting too out of control was the fact they didn't see each other all the time. Indeed, he was lucky to see Alex once a week. Sometimes it was once a month if things were just too busy for them to get together. Plus, there were all the times when Alex did things for him while he was away, or was otherwise not at home, and he missed seeing him then, too. It didn't stop him calling Alex to see how he was going, because he needed to hear his voice, or text him goodnight if he was feeling lonely, and any contact was better than nothing. The infrequency of their physical contact did make the times they did spend together a lot more intense than perhaps they might otherwise have been, but that was life. There was no pause button, no way to just dedicate their lives to each other because they did such different work in a lot of ways. And Greg didn't have a family to take care of, because Greg wouldn't let Alex neglect them in order to spend time with him. His family had to come first.  
  
But other than that, it was fine. He enjoyed Alex’s constant praise, all the little comments that Alex made about how much he loved and respected him, how magnificent he was, how much of a wonderful master he was, how he was the perfect Taskmaster, how no one else compared to him. It fed his ego in possibly not very healthy ways, but it also made him feel good, so he wasn’t really going to stop it any time soon. Alex, too, responded with the sweetest little kisses as he rubbed his face on his hands in grateful adoration when Greg told him he’d done a good job, which encouraged him to praise him too when he’d earned it.  
  
There was one day, which Greg thought about a lot afterwards, when Alex bowed to him naked, with nothing but a collar around his neck, as he listened to Greg’s orders for the day, which was a day that ended with Greg giving him a good spanking before fucking him hard as Alex finished doing the dishes because he’d done all his chores around the house naked and it drove Greg mad with desire for him, as Alex had clearly intended it to do. Alex’s ability to take that kind of sex, and still finish his jobs perfectly at the same time, seemed unreal to Greg, even as he witnessed it. His wife had obviously trained him very well, and Alex was quite extraordinarily suited to submission for him to be such a good servant without Greg needing to train him very much at all.  
  
If he'd been asked to describe their relationship, Greg wasn't sure what he would really say. It was complicated. The show made it complicated, and they hadn't even started filming anything yet. Alex had slotted himself into Greg's life as if he'd always been there, even though Greg hadn't thought anything was missing to begin with. Alex didn't seem to mind Greg treating him like a pet, because of course Greg wouldn't fall in love with him, that wouldn't be right. Alex was married. And Greg was in no mood to fall in love with him, anyway. He was just Alex, submissive, meek, little Alex, who he gave all the shit jobs to so he didn't have to do them, and also made himself available any time Greg needed a fuck, which Greg had grown used to taking advantage of far quicker than he’d expected.  
  
And now, after all of that complicated mess, here, once again, was a parcel from Alex, with a card, about a month late, and that just complicated things, too. He didn't want Alex to love him. He’d told Alex to stop loving him. He couldn’t do this. They shouldn’t do this. He wanted it to just be sex. He could handle sex. Sex didn't mean anything. He’d spent years honing his ability to fuck anyone and not feel attached to them because it hurt less when he was rejected, and he was always rejected in the end. But this? He didn't really know what to do with this, because he wasn't sure how Alex expected him to react, and he wasn't here to ask, which he felt was probably for the best.  
  
He hesitated. He didn’t want to open it, because he was half afraid it might just contain some desperate plea for his love, some sort of ridiculous over the top expression of Alex’s love for him, and he wasn’t sure he would be able to look at it, let alone at Alex the next time he came over, and that would definitely get thrown out if that’s what he’d done. He’d never quite been comfortable with that sort of thing, at least, not when he didn’t love him back.  
  
But perhaps Alex had understood that, because this time Alex had just sent a box of chocolates and nothing more. He was glad about that, because he was afraid that Alex might be into grand romantic gestures, and he very much wasn't, and he didn't want to hurt him or break his heart if he had to turn him down. The card was sweet, too, with a slightly more confident love note that Greg was even more determined to ignore.  
  
_Oh nice chocolates! Oh you know what I like boy thank you. Call me soon Alex_ , Greg sent, unable to resist texting him again to thank him for the gift.  
  
_I will, Sir, I will. I hope You liked the card, Sir, I made it myself_ , Alex replied.  
  
_Oh the cards going in the bin Alex why would I keep your silly little valentines cards that I didn't ask for?_ , Greg sent, unable to resist making the same joke again.  
  
Alex didn't reply immediately. In fact, it was at least ten minutes before Alex sent back, _It's alright, Sir, I understand, I'm sorry. I'll call You later, Alex xxx_  
  
_Yeah please call me later Alex I miss you_ , Greg sent, needing to get the last word in.  
  
Greg had to smile at Alex's text, because he was sure he could hear Alex crying through that message. He hadn't intended to upset him, but perhaps it was the kinder way to break his heart, by just making it clear he didn't want his cards and wouldn't ever reciprocate. And, honestly, he nearly did throw it in the bin this time, but as he looked at it again, and saw the little bear giving the larger bear a hug, which Alex had apparently made, he decided against it. He just couldn't throw it out.  
  
Instead, the card ended up in a drawer beside his bed, tucked away from sight. He didn't really know why he was keeping it, because surely if Alex ever found out, he'd just take it to mean that Greg really had fallen for him, and Greg didn't want that. There would be no falling in love with Alex, absolutely not, no matter how many cards he sent him or how much chocolate he bought him. He was being firm on this front.  
  
But in spite of himself, he still sometimes looked at that card and smiled, reading Alex's little confession of love for him and all the little lines of praise he'd included, telling him how amazing he was. He kept that card, and perhaps he might have gazed at it adoringly when Alex called later that night to chat to him, because he loved hearing Alex's voice, and Alex apologised over and over for the card, even though Greg really wasn't that mad about it. It was a fairly ordinary call, because Alex wasn't in a position to be sexy with him, but it was still nice, and sometimes, he needed to just talk to him about ordinary things because it grounded him.  
  
It was late by the time the call ended, and Greg looked at that card again and smiled. Yes, he would keep it, though he still thought it was a silly thing to do. He'd keep it, and every now and then, he'd read it, because, when 2am felt like the loneliest hour of the night, it was nice to know someone, at least, loved him, even if the rest of the world didn't.


	3. Valentine's Day, 2015: My Lover's Box

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, it's the little things that are more meaningful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting new chapters every Tuesday, fyi, I think I forgot to mention that. 
> 
> Chapter Three Lyrics: [My Lover's Box - Garbage](http://lyrics.wikia.com/wiki/Garbage:My_Lover%27s_Box)

"I thought you might need the company today," Alex said as he turned up at his flat before he was really ready to see him. "But I'll go if you want to be left alone. I don't mind. I know it's a little early for you, sir."  
  
Greg had to admit it was unusual for Alex to ask to be let in, rather than just come in like he usually did. It wasn't like he didn't have access and wasn't just allowed to come by when he was able to. But then, it _was_ early, and he wasn't really thinking clearly just yet, and he did appreciate Alex asking all the same. He didn't know why Alex might think he specifically needed company today, but Alex was like that. Sometimes, he just got like this.   
  
"No, no, come on up. It'll be nice to see you," Greg said and let him in, and thought nothing more of it.   
  
Alex still hesitated when he got to his door. Greg found him kneeling there, staring at the ground. He could see he had a gift with him, and a card, but he almost looked like he felt he was trespassing, and shouldn't be there at all.   
  
"I-I just - it's nothing - I didn't think - I can go, if you - I just - you don't always want me around, and I-" Alex said.  
  
"What have I told you about using complete sentences, Alex? Jesus Christ, just come in, will you? I want you here," Greg said, bringing an arm around his shoulders as he lifted him to his feet and brought him inside.   
  
"Thank you, sir," Alex said. He dared to give Greg a soft kiss, his hand gently touching his cheek, before he looked away, embarrassed, and went to make some tea for them both like he usually did when he arrived at Greg's flat.   
  
Greg stared after him, unwilling to stop him. He hadn't expected the kiss, if he was honest. They didn't do that, kissing, not even during sex. All Alex had ever done, or had felt brave enough to do, was to bow and kiss his hand when he came in, or to kiss his hands in penance, but he never kissed him anywhere else. So to suddenly have Alex decide to kiss him on the lips had left him a little shocked, and not sure how to react. He touched his lips, as if trying to convince himself it had happened. It wasn't unpleasant, either. It was just sweet. Hesitant. A kiss that asked, rather than a kiss that demanded, and then scurried away before it could hear what the answer was.   
  
"Why'd you kiss me, Alex? What was that for? I didn't know you wanted to kiss me. You should've said something," Greg said.  
  
Alex glanced at him, as if he was afraid to look at him, as he waited for the kettle to boil. "Oh, I'm sorry, sir, I must have presumed - I didn't mean to - I won't do it again, sir."  
  
"I mean, I don't mind, but you should've said something. We've talked about this. I'm not a mind-reader. You need to tell me when you want something," Greg said.  
  
"I know, I know, sir, I just - I saw you and thought you needed a kiss today, sir. I'm sorry. I won't kiss you again, sir," Alex said.  
  
"Just ask next time, alright? I don't want you missing out on something you really want from me because you're too scared to ask for it," Greg said.   
  
Alex didn't reply to that with anything more than a mumbled 'yes, sir' and returned to the tea. If Alex was trying to use reverse psychology on him, it was kind of working, because now all he wanted to do was kiss Alex over and over again, just to make a point. He'd never banned Alex from kissing him, either. It was just never something they'd done. Alex had never asked for it, nor had Greg ever offered, and Greg was always conscious of not doing things Alex hadn't asked for or consented to, because he wasn't a bastard. He hadn't been blind to the idea that, if Alex really was in love with him, he might indeed want to kiss him, and he was fine with that, because he liked kissing. But Alex had never given any indication that he wanted to kiss him at all. That first night of drunken sex was the only other time they'd kissed.   
  
He didn't believe Alex would just give up though. He hadn't been able to make Alex stop loving him, but he wasn't sure he should stop him either. It was the least harmful thing anyone had done to him, and he wasn't used to it. If he thought about it, he was aware that he was fighting himself more than he was fighting Alex. He shouldn't love Alex, not at all, but he was still attracted to him, and he enjoyed having him as a submissive and having sex with him. Perhaps their chemistry just leant it self to this kind of complicated relationship anyway, and there wasn't anything to do about it. But it did bother him, because he knew it was the fact that Alex was married that was making him spend so much time fighting his feelings for him. Sure, he had permission to have sex with him, but he just couldn't get over that. Alex was married. Alex was married. It just kept spiralling through his head at inconvenient moments, and wouldn't go away.   
  
And he knew that his desire to push Alex away, and keep his affections at a distance, was not because he didn't want to be loved, it was because he didn't want to be hurt. He felt he didn't deserve Alex's love, perhaps not all the time, but there were moments. He didn't understand why Alex had fallen so hard for him when they didn't even know each other at all, not at the beginning. It wasn't like there was a time where they met and agreed to date and slowly fell in love, that made sense to him. But this was different, and he couldn't understand why Alex loved him. Sure, perhaps he could just talk to him, but that would mean accepting that Alex's love was indeed real, and Greg wasn't in the mood to validate that just yet.   
  
Alex seemed evasive now, as if avoiding his gaze as he poured the water on the tea. Greg wasn't really angry at him, just surprised. But Alex was so easily convinced that he'd done wrong any time he did something Greg wasn't expecting, or hadn't asked for, and it was a hard behaviour to shift. Greg had managed it so far by not punishing him just because he'd asked him to, but only when he really deserved it, but it still required work. Indeed, Greg wasn't the least bit surprised to now see Alex come and kneel before him and offer his hands as if he was expecting Greg to hit his palms as a punishment just for kissing him.   
  
"I shouldn't have kissed you sir, I'm sorry, please punish me for kissing you without asking permission, sir," Alex said.  
  
For a moment, Greg wanted to, just to try to reinforce the boundaries that he had in his head, that this was just sex, and not falling in love. But he didn't think Alex needed to be punished, not really. Alex was a little too sensitive to those sort of things, and he didn't think punishment would actually be helpful in this instance. Instead, he took his hands and kissed them as a way to show his forgiveness.   
  
"I'm not going to punish you, Alex, you don't need it, not for this. But if you did want to kiss me, you should have just said so. I wouldn't have said no," Greg said.  
  
Alex looked at him, surprised, almost happy, but Greg could tell he was holding back. "Really? I could - we could - you'd let me kiss you, sir?"  
  
"Sure, you can kiss me if you want to. I don't mind. I don't know why you never asked for it," Greg said.  
  
Alex looked a little more worried as he got to his feet. "Oh, but - you said no falling in love, and I thought that meant - that you didn't want - we couldn't kiss, that's what - but you never said - and I didn't want to-"  
  
Greg cupped his face and kissed him to shut him up, and he felt Alex stiffen at first before he relaxed into it. This was dangerous, of course. He knew Alex was right, that they shouldn't kiss, because that just led to falling in love, at least for him, but in that moment, he didn't care. The last year had been too full of grief and sadness, and perhaps it had made him more open to loving Alex than he'd first thought, even though he was still reluctant to love him back. Perhaps it was just nice to kiss someone again, even if Alex wasn't very good at kissing. But then he also felt that it would be weird if Alex was good at kissing, because it just didn't suit his personality.  
  
The kiss didn't last long. Greg hugged Alex tight, appreciating his company. It had been a strange year, if Greg was being honest. Awful in many ways, because grief never went away, it just got easier to live with, even if it still felt a little raw sometimes. Alex's constant presence somehow made the flat feel less empty, even though he was used to living alone. He'd become fond of Alex, in spite of himself. There was just something comforting about knowing he could leave Alex to take care of things, and he would, and it would be fine, because there had been days when he just couldn’t. It was comforting to know that he could just leave if he needed to, and Alex would be there to handle all the little things he had no energy for, because that's what Alex was so very good at.   
  
And at the end of the day, or whenever he got back, Alex would be there to give him a hug, and make him a cup of tea, and maybe they just would cuddle on the sofa for a while, saying nothing. He hadn’t realised just how much he appreciated Alex’s company until he’d needed it. He'd forgotten how nice it was to just have someone there with him in his flat, someone he could hug and touch and just be with, no matter what else was going on. He was sure he'd have got through the year just fine without him, but having Alex there made it easier.  
  
He still wasn't entirely sure what kind of relationship they had. Were they friends now? Lovers? Fuck buddies? Some strange mixture of all of them? Or was it still just master and servant, Taskmaster and assistant? He really wasn’t sure. The sex had been both a distraction and a comfort, to just be touched by someone who loved him when everything felt like it was falling apart. It hadn’t even been very frequent, because they were both busy with their own lives. But it was something Greg had appreciated anyway. And yet, he still refused to let himself fall in love with Alex. Part of him wanted to just give in to it, to love while he was still alive, but the pain kept fighting back, and he was still too sore to tell it to go away.   
  
And yet, Alex still persisted. They'd finally started filming for Taskmaster, and it was beginning to feel like a real show at last. This thing that had only seemed like an idea for such a long time was going to become real, and that was just another distraction from thinking about falling in love with Alex. Greg was good at finding excuses so he didn't have to think about it.   
  
If anything had made him pause, it was the sudden appearance of a dream, a very specific, intense dream, that he had every night for a month, just after his father had died. Sure, perhaps it was the grief, but he wasn’t sure grief could adequately explain being called to a dark cave inside a mountain by some dragons and what he assumed were ancestors, only to be crowned by them as a king with an elaborately decorated crown before he was seated on a grand throne, orb and sceptre in hand as a sign of his power. His father was always there, saying nothing, and Alex was always kneeling by his side, being crowned with a smaller, simpler coronet. He never understood what on earth any of them were saying, except it was possibly Welsh, which didn’t enlighten him at all.  
  
The first time he had the dream, he woke up and wrote it down in very elaborate and specific detail, just so he didn’t forget it. After that, he simply recorded every night he had the dream, and if it was the same, or whether there were any new details. It had been every night for a month, then sporadically after that, but he’d been too busy with everything else to pay it much thought when nothing else seemed to happen, and the dream faded from his mind. He wrote it off as part of the grieving process and thought nothing more of it.  
  
But it had started to come back. Three times, in the past month, only this time, there was a difference. After they had been crowned, now, things changed. The cave became an elaborate palace, not unlike some of the designs they had come up with for the Taskmaster set, which confused the hell out of him. Now, he was seated on his throne with Alex by his side, and a dragon, a red dragon, lay at his feet, as if it was resting. People bowed before him, and hailed him as their king, and he didn’t know what it meant. There was also one instance of Alex kissing him and calling him ‘husband’, and he very much did not like that at all. He wasn’t going to marry Alex, that was absurd. Alex was already married, and he had no intention of breaking up his marriage just so he could marry him instead. Besides, he wasn’t even in love with him. And yet, the dreams bothered him because they didn't make any sense to him. Was this just pre-show anxieties coming out in the form of weird dreams? He didn’t know, and while he’d written them all down, he’d then decided to ignore them. There was too much else to worry about now.   
  
But those dreams floated through his mind again briefly as he let Alex go so he could bring the tea over, along with his gift, and for the first time Greg felt awful that he had nothing to give him in return. He knew Alex would apologise, would brush it off, would say he had enough on his plate, that it didn't matter, but perhaps this time it did matter. Perhaps it was time to accept that this wasn’t just kindness or subservient devotion. That this wasn't going away. That it wasn't just sex. It wasn't just something he was saying just to please him. Perhaps it was time to accept that Alex’s love really was genuine, just like he’d told him after they’d had sex for the first time, a confession Greg had roundly ignored because they couldn’t be lovers and if he pretended Alex wasn't really in love with him, it was easier to just fuck him and be done with it.   
  
He pushed that thought aside as he sat down with Alex on the sofa. No. They definitely couldn't be lovers. That wasn't allowed to happen. Even if he was in love with him, which he definitely wasn't, they had a show to make. He wasn't stupid enough to risk all that because Alex had fallen in love with him. He wasn't that unprofessional. He didn’t want to acknowledge the fact that it was the barriers to loving him that others had put up that were the problem, not the fact that he didn’t love Alex. That would open things up to many more complications than he was ready to deal with.  
  
"I wasn't sure if you'd even want a gift this year for Valentine's Day, but I thought I'd risk it, just in case you needed to just feel a little love today. I know we don't have long, and I've got to go to the house in a bit, but I couldn't bear the thought of you being alone today, even if I can only be here just for a while," Alex said. "It's just - a little something. I hope you don't mind."  
  
“I don’t mind, no, Alex, that’s very sweet of you. I’m just sorry I don’t have anything for you, I wasn’t expecting to see you today,” Greg said, now aware of what day it was and why Alex hadn't wanted him to be alone today.  
  
“It doesn’t matter, sir, I know you don’t love me that way, and I wouldn’t want you to give me a card just because you thought you should. I’d only accept one from you that you give to me out of love, not obligation,” Alex said. “You will let me know if I ever overstep things with my cards. I don’t want to upset you, sir.”  
  
“It’s okay, Alex, they’re very sweet. I haven’t had Valentine’s cards for a long time. I don’t mind. I mean, I was creeped out at first because I had no idea it was you who'd sent me one out of the blue, but I don’t mind them now,” Greg said.  
  
Alex offered a shy smile, and kissed his hand as he murmured a soft ‘thank you, sir’ to him. Greg honestly couldn’t hate him for it because all he'd ever done was love him. He'd never shouted at him, never insulted him or called him names, never rejected him, never hurt him, never wanted to fight him or beat him up. Alex really was just a very sweet boy with a heart full of love, and it was a lovely gesture.   
  
As he accepted his gift, and opened the card, he realised he hadn't quite appreciated Alex's gift with words until he read the message, because it said just what he needed to hear, even if it didn't contain confessions of love like the last two had. The rest of the gift comprised of a box of chocolates and a carton of Greg's favourite cigarettes, which was also just what he needed. Maybe it would seem unimpressive to some, but Greg wasn't in the mood for fancy gifts. Chocolate and cigarettes, that's what he wanted. He needed that comfort. And if there was a little tear that caught in his eyelash as he brought Alex into a tight hug, he ignored it.   
  
"Oh, Alex, how do you know just what I need? Thank you, this is lovely," Greg said.  
  
"It's my job to know that, sir, and I take that responsibility very seriously. How can I make you happy if I don't know you well enough to know what pleases you, sir? That's my job, sir, that's what I do," Alex said. "I mean, I also love you, and I care about you, so these things are important to me too, sir."  
  
Greg let him go, and gazed at him, seeking something in his eyes that he didn't know the name of. "I don't know why you keep giving me these things. I never have anything for you. You know we can't be lovers. Why do you keep giving me these cards? I'll just keep throwing them away."  
  
Alex cuddled up to him as he sipped his tea. "You won't make me stop loving you that way, sir. I just - I want to take care of you, and I want you to be happy. That's my job now, at least on the show. I want it to be my job here too. You need someone to take care of you. You deserve to be loved and taken care of. I want to do that for you.”  
  
“Don’t do this, Alex. I’m going to have to break your heart if you keep on like this. It’s only meant to be sex, Alex, that’s all. No one’s falling in love, alright? That’s what we agreed to. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like getting gifts, but I don’t love you, not like that. I can’t. We can’t. You do remember that you’re married, right? She should be your priority, your family should be your priority, not me,” Greg said.  
  
Alex looked up at him with his big blue puppy dog eyes, and Greg almost, _almost_ , gave in.   
  
“No, don’t, Alex. Don’t make this more complicated than it needs to be. It’s just sex. That’s all it can ever be.” Greg took his hand. “It’s not that I don’t like you, Alex, because I do, I really do, and I appreciate everything you do for me, even if I don’t always tell you that. But we can’t fall in love, you know that, I know that. I wish the world was different, so I didn’t need to keep putting you off like this, but it isn’t. This is the world we’re dealing with, and we can’t be in love. We can’t. The cost is too high for both of us. Don’t throw everything away because of me. I’m not worth it.”  
  
Alex looked down, and gently kissed his master’s hand. “I’m sorry you’ve been hurt so badly, sir, but you’ll always be worth it to me, always. I’ll just have to love you in my dreams. We can be together there and no one will ever hurt us, never.”  
  
Greg flinched at his words. “I don’t know why you think I’ve been hurt, I’m not hurt, it’s not like that, it’s just-“  
  
Alex silenced him with a gentle kiss. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry, I don't want to hurt you. I don’t want you to be hurt. In my dreams, you’re not hurt at all. You smile and laugh and you give your heart to me, and it’s a wonderful feeling. I can be with you, and with my wife, and no one judges us. It’s just love, pure love, sir, that’s all it is.”  
  
Greg had to smile at that. In spite of all his reservations, he did like the idea of a place where they could fall in love and no one would hurt them for it. It sounded like pure fantasy, but sometimes, that was all you had. He wasn’t sure he would ever see that world, but it was nice to think about it, to pretend reality wasn’t the only option. It never satisfied him, but sometimes, for a moment, it was enough.  
  
“It must be nice to be able to see the world that way. Perhaps that’s why I’m fond of you. You’re always just so positive about everything,” Greg said.  
  
“It doesn’t matter. None of it matters. So why keep worrying about it? Why hold on to something that doesn’t matter? What’s the point? There’s always tomorrow, sir, and another chance to start again,” Alex said.  
  
Greg felt old then as he brought Alex into a hug, letting him snuggle up beside him as they sat together. It’d been a long time since he’d had that kind of outlook on life, and it had been particularly hard to find any joy this year. Sometimes, he felt Alex seemed much more than ten years younger than him. He didn’t think ten years could create such big differences in them, but it had. But then he was glad Alex had missed all the shit he’d had to live through, because he wouldn’t wish that on him. Alex was too sweet, too innocent, to carry that kind of burden.   
  
“I’m sorry the world hasn’t been kind to you, sir. You deserve better. Maybe we can’t be lovers, but I’ll still love you anyway. I think you need that. Think of it as the unconditional love of a dog, if you like, I don’t care, but I think you need that. I think sometimes you get very lonely here, sir, even if you won’t admit it, but maybe having a little pet around, who’s there when you need them, someone you can cuddle and touch and love and make you tea whenever you want, maybe that’s what you need from an assistant. And maybe that’s alright with me,” Alex said.  
  
Greg kissed his head and held him close. Alex was closer to the truth than he’d have admitted, but he didn’t say anything. He let Alex cuddle with him as they drank their tea, talking about nothing at all, just one single moment where nothing mattered.   
  
Before he left, Alex offered one more gift, sucking him off in the most agonisingly beautiful manner that left Greg resenting the fact that he had to leave. Alex could do such wonderful things with his mouth, and he always, always, gave in to it. Nothing had ever managed to calm him down so quickly quite like that. Alex might not be very good at kissing, but by God, he was very good at sucking cock. He often wondered where he’d learnt to do it, because it wasn’t quite how gay men did it, but neither was it quite like how straight women did it, either. It was the best combination of both, and it drove him wild.   
  
Alex left with promises to spend the night with him properly later in the week, and Greg had to be content with that, even if, in spite of himself, he couldn’t help giving him a long, lingering, kiss before he had to go, to make that moment last as long as possible. And if his heart ached as he finally let him go, he ignored it, because he definitely absolutely wasn't falling in love with Alex, definitely not. But, God, did he love that boy so very much. What exactly he meant by 'love' was a complicated mess of everything that he wasn't really sure he could ever explain, but it didn't mean it wasn't true.   
  
When he was finally alone, he read the card again and smiled. As he went to place it in the drawer with the others, he took them out and read them all again, smiling at Alex’s sweet affection for him. He’d never let Alex know he kept the cards, because that would be embarrassing beyond words, and his defence was to claim he’d thrown them all out to show how little he cared for them. Perhaps a subtle, if ineffective way of breaking Alex’s heart before they got too involved with each other, but it was all a bluff.   
  
The cards had never been thrown out. Even that very first card had found its way into this drawer too, with all its awkwardness and hesitant love. They sat in a drawer by his bed, cherished in those small lonely late nights when everything felt awful and he missed Alex in spite of everything, in spite of not being in love with him, when all he wanted was to have Alex with him to cuddle and tell him everything was going to be alright, and he wasn’t there. He had his words, and his love written out for him, and it was a small comfort, if one that never left him satisfied. He never imagined he would ever miss him when this all started, considering how little time they did actually spend together, but he did. He missed him.   
  
For a moment, as he looked at all the cards again, he wondered if he was actually falling for him, but that absolutely couldn’t happen, no matter how good he was at sucking cock. No matter how many times Greg just wanted to kiss him and kiss him and kiss him forever, as if he was addicted to him. No, he wasn’t falling for him, absolutely not, and he just had to get that idea out of his head right now. There was no way they could be lovers. It was just sex. That’s all it could ever be. He didn’t want to acknowledge that he felt a little sad about that as he shut the cards in the drawer once more.


	4. Valentine's Day, 2016: We Never Tell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which, Alex goes way, way OTT and Greg finds he doesn't actually mind this time. Cue 14k words of Greg and Alex making out, being adorable, and having sex. <3 
> 
> Yes, this is a single chapter. I know. I know. XD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Four Lyrics: [Garbage - We Never Tell](http://lyrics.wikia.com/wiki/Garbage:We_Never_Tell)

_Meet me at the Taskmaster house today, please, Sir, as soon as You can. I need You for something, Alex xx_  
  
Alex’s text had been a little surprising, given he couldn’t think of what he would be needed at the house for. That wasn't his job, and as far as he knew, he'd done all the filming he'd needed to do there already. But Alex was lucky he had very little else to do that day and Greg said he’d be over that afternoon. He paid no more attention to it after that, as Alex’s reply gave nothing else away, and got on with his day.  
  
They had one series of Taskmaster under their belts now, and crowned Josh Widdicombe as their first Champion, and it had gone well enough to get them two more series, which was quite exciting. Greg got to keep his submissive little assistant for at least another year. And now they'd got through six episodes sitting next to each other, playing out their roles with each other, and they had a better sense of how their relationship might work on television. This had been the cause for many, many long hours of conversation between them as they worked up to the studio recordings, trying to decide what was they could get away with, and what was taking it too far, if they were actually going to play it as lovers as well as master and servant.  
  
Greg had been more nervous about it than Alex, because he didn't want to mess it up, but Alex got him through it, and even if they'd decided to just be so very tentative in revealing their affections for each other, it was still there. Alex, bless him, had decided to be the nervous, submissive little servant beside him, which he was thankful in a lot of ways for having had two years of Alex serving him already to draw on, so he had a fair idea of what their relationship would look like, and what aspects of that relationship would work on screen.  
  
There were some tweaks they were planning to make for the second series, which at least would be in a proper studio, and perhaps that’s what Alex wanted to talk about, even though they didn’t really need to talk about it at the house. Usually it was at his flat over several beers and perhaps some sex, if they felt like it. Greg decided very early on that didn’t like having those discussions at the pub, which was where they first started; there were too many people who might overhear and take it the wrong way, and Greg found they were incapable of talking about it without touching each other anyway. He was also conspicuous wherever he went, he could never hide anywhere, so he always felt they were far more visible than he was comfortable with. He wasn’t interested in getting Alex beaten up because someone decided they were being too gay with each other, even if they could just brush it off as a TV thing.  
  
Nevertheless, Greg wasn’t just going to stand him up, because it might indeed be important, and when he arrived at the house, he found Alex waiting for him outside the gate, ready to usher him in. He closed the gate and was ready to help him out of his car as if he was a king. Greg didn’t pay this much attention; he was used to Alex just doing things like this, even if he didn’t have to, or wasn’t told to do so, and it had taken remarkably little time to get used to it and really feel like a king with his own valet. He was definitely going to miss this if Taskmaster ever came to an end and he couldn't have Alex around doing little jobs for him.  
  
“So what do you need me for exactly?” Greg said.  
  
“Don’t you know what date it is today, sir? It’s Valentine’s Day. I just - I thought, this was the one place where we could both be here together and no one would question it. No one was going to be here today anyway, so I told them I was doing something here on my own, that I had some things I wanted to try out that I wasn’t allowed to do at home, and to leave me be. So we’ve got the place to ourselves today. I just wanted to give us, like, a day for ourselves that wasn’t going to be public, because I know you don’t want that, you don’t want us to be seen out like that, and I understand your reasons for that, but I still wanted to do this one thing for you, to just take care of you for one afternoon and make you feel loved and cared for,” Alex said. “And I’m not trying to make you love me, I’m just doing this for you, because I don’t know how long it’s been since someone did something like this for you. I just want to please you and make you happy, sir. Will you let me do that for you?”  
  
“Are you telling me you’ve commandeered the house just so you can fuck me here? I mean, that’s clearly what you want to happen, isn’t it?” Greg said.  
  
Alex looked down at his feet, embarrassed. “I mean, only if you want to, sir, it’s your house, not mine. I just - I wanted to take you somewhere special, but I knew you wouldn’t let me just take you to a hotel, so I just - borrowed the house instead. I just wanted to cook for you and make you feel good and just spend some time with you, sir, that’s all, in a place where no one will bother us. Like, if anyone saw us here, or photographed us here, it's just work. That's all it is. No one will care that we're here together because this is where we do Taskmaster. No one will think we're here for any other reason, I promise.”  
  
“And, of course, you waited till I was here to tell me, so I won’t have as much of an excuse to say no. That’s one hell of a Valentine’s gift, Alex. I’m assuming I’ll get yet another card I can throw out, yeah?” Alex nodded meekly. “I thought as much. I just hope you’ve got some sausages. I’m starving,” Greg said, wrapping an arm around his shoulder as he walked towards the house.  
  
“Oh, yes, plenty of sausages, sir, I know what you like,” Alex said.  
  
“Good boy. Then you’d better get started, hadn’t you? I want to feel amazing by the time I leave,” Greg said.  
  
“Oh, you will, sir, I promise,” Alex said.  
  
Greg let him take him inside, and while much of the house didn’t look any different than the last time he’d seen it, he could tell the lab at the back was now definitely not the lab anymore by the trail of rose petals he could see on the ground. There was also a trail of rose petals leading to the living room.  
  
“Do you want to explain the rose petals? Or do I need to tell you off again?” Greg said.  
  
“I was just trying to make it less of a sterile place for us, sir. There’s not much I can do to it in a day that’s reversible, and I didn’t want anyone else to help me because this has to be secret. No one else was allowed to know about this, except for my wife, of course. It’s not much, but it’s comfortable,” Alex said. “I didn’t want to move much at all if I didn’t have to, that’s all. I didn’t want it to look like we’d done this at all, no traces, that’s what I wanted. So, no one ever knows.”  
  
“Well, you have been a busy little boy, haven’t you? So, did you have a plan, or is this just what I want to do?” Greg said.  
  
“I-If it’s not too much to ask, sir, I think I would just like to cuddle for a bit, could we, please? Then I can make you all the sausages you want, I bought so many different kinds. And some champagne. I just wanted this to be special for us,” Alex said.  
  
Greg smiled at him, and brought him into a warm hug. “Sure, we can cuddle for a while. Did you set up a bed in here, did you?”  
  
“Oh, I made you one, sir, one that you’ll actually fit into without hanging off the end. We can cuddle there, sir, if you like,” Alex said.  
  
“Oh, that sounds lovely. Wait, did you just say you’d made me a bed? Really? You actually made me a bed?” Greg said.  
  
“Yes, sir, I did. Would you like to see it?” Alex said.  
  
“Of course, I want to bloody see it, no one makes beds that fit me!” Greg said.  
  
“Right through here, sir,” Alex said, taking him to the living room.  
  
With the room now empty of furniture, it had now been filled with the biggest bed Greg had ever seen. It only just fit in the room, which Greg felt might also have been planned. The base was simple, it was just a plain wooden four poster frame, though it lacked the canopy, but then he noticed it had been carved with very intricate little patterns of Welsh dragons and crowns. That made him pause, because surely Alex couldn’t know about those dreams, but perhaps he’d just taken his inspiration from elsewhere. Maybe he just thought he’d like them. The headboard was simple, but there were dragons on either side, and it looked more than big enough for him. Perhaps the dragons were just coincidence. It's not like he'd had those dreams for a while now. It'd been months, and nothing had come of them. Perhaps they really were just dreams.  
  
“You made this? Really? All of it? How did you even get it in here on your own? It looks very solid,” Greg said.  
  
“I made it all, yes, sir, for you, sir. It took months, and I had some help to get the carpentry done properly, but I just wanted you to have a bed that fit you for once in your life. Like, I know you have your massive sofa, and I love it as much as you do, but you deserve a bed that's the right size for you. You shouldn't have to sleep on your sofa just because it's the only thing that fits you properly. We'll take it back to your flat afterwards, it should fit your bedroom perfectly. You might need to rearrange a couple of things, but I measured your room so I could get the right size for you. There was no point making one that didn’t fit in your room. I can make some matching nightstands too, if you want. I made it as portable as possible, because I knew I’d be moving it on my own. You can do that when you make a bed yourself. I hope you like it, sir,” Alex said.  
  
“I do like it, thank you, Alex. What’s with all the dragons, then?” Greg asked, needing to know.  
  
“I don’t know, I just - that’s what I felt needed to be carved into the wood as I made it. I don’t know why. I just kept seeing dragons and crowns. Perhaps you know the significance of them, sir,” Alex said.  
  
“They don’t mean anything to me, but they are lovely. You carved these? You actually did that? I didn’t know you could do wood carving,” Greg said, taking a moment to run his hand over the carvings on the side of the bed. "They're beautiful, Alex, thank you."  
  
“I'm glad you like them, sir. I carved them all myself, sir, it’s something I really love doing. I find it very relaxing,” Alex said. “I made the bed as big as I thought you might need it, and I had to get the mattress custom-made specially to fit it, but it was worth it. It’s a very comfortable bed. I did think about having one custom-made for you, but those are just so expensive and I wanted to do the work myself. I thought you'd appreciate that more, sir.”  
  
“Jesus Christ, Alex, there was no need to go that far for me. I’m actually stunned. No way would anyone actually make a bed that fit me,” Greg said.  
  
“Well, sir, I’m tall enough that I do only just fit myself, so I do understand, sir. Try it out, sir, I think I got the kind of mattress you like, but we can change if it’s really wrong, they said they’d do that for me since it was a gift. I didn’t want to ask you and spoil the surprise,” Alex said.  
  
Greg was both seriously impressed by all the work that had gone into it, and a little creeped out at the same time. It seemed way too over the top for a gift and he had no idea how he might even reciprocate. He also hadn't even noticed Alex measuring up his room either, he'd had no idea he was planning something like this for him. Sure, the bed wouldn’t suit any of his other furniture, but on the other hand, could he really say no to a bed that was exactly big enough for him? He wasn’t sure he could.  
  
"I just really don't know what to say, Alex, but thank you. It's lovely, I really mean that," Greg said. “How on earth did you get sheets to fit a custom mattress though? Surely that would’ve cost you a lot more to get hold of."  
  
Alex took a business card out of his jacket pocket and handed it to him. “Oh, I found someone, sir, he makes custom bed linen, and he’s not that expensive, actually, all things considered, but the quality is amazing. He’ll do any set you want, using any fabric you choose, to fit any bed you like, and it’ll be ready in a week. You can get quilts, pillows, and duvets too, whatever you want, he’ll make it the right size for you. I told him you’d be in touch, so he knows the exact size you need already. Call him up and get him to make some new bed sheets for you, I promise you won’t regret it.”  
  
Greg looked at the card and did indeed file it away for future reference. Alex had really thought of everything. “What on earth did I do to deserve you, Alex? This is just seriously too much. I don’t really know what to say.”  
  
“Just - be happy, and let’s cuddle for a while, sir,” Alex said.  
  
“Alright, let’s cuddle, I think you’ve earnt it this time,” Greg said.  
  
They kicked off their shoes, and Greg slid onto the bed, testing the mattress. It wasn’t quite perfect, but it was so close he wasn’t even going to quibble about it because it _was_ comfortable. The bed felt strong and solid, like it wasn’t going to break underneath him. He had to lie down and see for himself that he really did fit, and it was true. His entire body fit on this bed with room to spare, and he’d never experienced that kind of ecstatic relief before. It felt like finally being allowed to wear shoes that fit perfectly after putting up with years of shoes that were just too small and made his feet hurt instead because that's all he could ever find. It fit. _He_ fit. It was an indescribable feeling to lie there, knowing his feet weren't hanging off the end like they always did. The only thing that had ever come close to this feeling was when he bought his giant sofa, which he had slept on more often than he'd ever admit to because he fit, and it was just so comfortable. And now he had a giant bed to go with his giant sofa, and he was sure life couldn't get any better than this.  
  
The fact that Alex had made it for him made it feel even better. No one had ever made him anything like this before. Alex had put months of work into this, and possibly thousands of pounds of his own money, and that alone made it the greatest gift he’d ever been given. But that wasn't because of the cost, it was because of the thought that had gone into it. He wanted to cry out of sheer joy, and he didn’t even stop himself as he looked at Alex and reached for him, inviting him to join him.  
  
“Alex, come here, let me cuddle you for making me feel so happy already, and all you’ve done is make me a bed,” Greg said, as if making a bed for him was just a small trivial thing instead of the most incredibly kind thing anyone had ever done for him.  
  
“Yes, sir, of course, I’m so glad you like it, sir,” Alex said as he carefully joined him on the bed.  
  
Greg pulled him into a bear hug, and if he started crying against his shoulder, Alex said nothing but just held him back. No one had ever done something so compassionate for him before. No one had ever seen what he really needed and then gone ahead and made it for him out of kindness and love. He would lord it over him as his master later, but right now, in that moment, all he felt was gratitude.  
  
And this time, when Greg kissed him, it was because he loved him. He knew it. He wasn't going to deny it any longer. He gave in to that feeling wholeheartedly, just for a moment, and drowned in the joy of it. He held him tight, and didn’t want to let him go. He knew Alex had planned so much for their time together, but all Greg really wanted was to just stay here in this wonderful new bed, and never leave. He wanted to cuddle Alex for the rest of his life, just for this gift alone, and he was sure it wouldn’t even come close to making up for it. He had no idea what it would be like to sleep in a bed that fit, but he could guess that it would feel pretty fucking amazing.  
  
“Why do you keep doing this to me, Alex? I never want to let you go. We can’t be lovers, but you keep doing things like this for me, and I’m finding it so very difficult to keep saying no to you,” Greg said.  
  
“Then don’t say no. What would it cost you to love me? Why do you keep fighting it if it’s what your heart wants?” Alex said.  
  
“No, Alex, please, you’re married, don’t do this to me. I don’t want you to love me at her expense. I’m not that important,” Greg said.  
  
Alex brought him into a soft lingering kiss, and Greg’s heart actually ached when it ended. “My heart is big enough for two. I will keep saying that until you believe me. You know she's alright with us being together. She’s never told me I can’t love you too. We’ve always had this kind of marriage, it’s what makes it work for us. I like it when she’s with someone else, the pain is just exquisite. She always tells me, she’s never concealed any of her partners from me. But there was no one I ever wanted to be with apart from her until I met you. Please let me love you, sir, please.”  
  
"Don’t, Alex, please, I can’t do this, we can’t be lovers, you know we can’t. Someone will find out, and I don’t want to put you through that, I don’t, it’ll break you. I don’t want to be responsible for causing you pain when I didn’t have to,” Greg said.  
  
Alex sat up and pushed Greg back onto his back, holding him down as he glared at him. “No. Don’t you dare start that again. I’m banning that conversation from this house today. I don’t want to hear it. I just want you to be happy. Why can’t you just be happy? Why do you always do this? You keep running from your feelings, and ruining the mood. Just let me kiss you and hug you and feed you sausages and be happy for once, sir, please. I made you a bed that actually fits you and you want to ruin that happiness with this shit? Don’t you want to be happy?”  
  
Greg didn’t quite know what to say. He wasn’t expecting Alex to get cross with him, and he was surprised at how much strength he had to pin him down like that. He also wasn’t used to Alex swearing, which he only ever did on the rare occasions when he was mad at him. He’d clearly pushed him too far, but he didn’t know what to say to make things better. He just felt like he’d just ruined things between them just because he couldn’t be happy. Alex’s words had hit a little too close to home for his liking, and it hurt. He was afraid that if he tried to explain, he would just end up crying, bringing up all that bitterness and anger he’d carried around with him for so long, and he really wasn’t ready for that yet.  
  
Alex didn’t stay cross with him for long; he never did. Once he'd made his point, his anger was gone. His expression softened and he curled up beside him, hugging him tight. Greg hugged him back, wondering how long they would keep this going for, this back and forth, this constant argument about love and sex and how complicated their relationship was. He was sure the only way it would be resolved was for Greg to just fall in love with him, but he was still adamant that would never, ever happen. It couldn’t happen, not now that they had a show to make. It felt much more dangerous now to be lovers because of what they planned to do with their on-screen relationship, and he didn’t want to expose Alex to the kind of hatred he was used to dealing with if it ever got out. He hated that his mind was stuck in that kind of melancholic fatalism, that this potentially beautiful relationship with Alex, complicated though it was, could only end in one way in Greg’s mind: with them being exposed, ridiculed, and ruined. He had no idea how to make his mind stop thinking that, but it just didn’t seem possible for them to have a relationship and still be alright. Those just didn’t add up in his mind.  
  
“I’m sorry, Alex, they’re my hang-ups, and I shouldn’t have brought them here. You’re just trying to be kind to me today, and I think I need that more than I might otherwise admit to. Tell me off if I start up again. I don’t want to be like that today,” Greg said.  
  
Alex gave him a soft kiss on his cheek. “No, no, I’m sorry, sir, I didn’t mean to get cross, it’s just - every time I try to talk to you about this, you run away from me. And I don’t want you to run away from me. I know you’re just trying to protect me, but I think you’re really trying to protect yourself. Your heart has been wounded too much, sir, and all I want to do is heal it for you, if you would let me. But I know that takes a long time, and I promise I won’t mention it again, sir. Just be happy today. Just let yourself have one day of happiness. You’re going to get to sleep in a bed that really fits you for the rest of your life. Isn’t that worth being happy about?”  
  
Greg smiled at that prospect. It was worth being happy about. He was still thrilled about that prospect, and he almost wanted to cancel the rest of the day so they could take it back home to his flat and set it up, but he didn’t want to ruin Alex’s plans, because clearly, he’d spent months planning this and Greg wasn’t the kind of man who would ruin that for him. Today meant a lot to Alex, and he’d let his assistant take care of him, because that was such a rare thing for him to experience. He had all the sex he could ever possibly want, and for a long time, that had been enough. But Alex kept challenging that by giving him love and romance as well as sex, and he didn’t know what to do with that when his instincts kept telling him to run from it because nothing good would ever come from it.  
  
“It is worth being happy about, yes, more than I can ever say. I still can’t believe you made me a bed, Alex. Why on earth would you make me a bed?” Greg said.  
  
“I made it for you out of love, sir, that’s why, because you’ve never had a bed that fit you, and I couldn’t stand you not having a proper size bed any longer. You’re not getting younger, and you’ll need a bed that helps you sleep better. I wanted to give that to you because I didn’t think anyone else would,” Alex said.  
  
The truth of that last statement made Greg want to cry, but he didn’t, because today was for being happy, like Alex said. So, he brought Alex into a kiss, and lost himself in that instead. He never thought he’d be addicted to Alex, but he felt he might be getting there. Having him here in his arms was wonderful. He was growing to enjoy just kissing him, which he recognised as potentially signalling that he was falling for him, but he shoved that thought away, because that wasn’t helpful. But, God, he did love kissing Alex. It didn’t even matter that Alex wasn’t very good at kissing. That was part of the charm of it, to have all these little soft innocent kisses that no one had ever given him before. They weren’t sex kisses, they were romantic kisses, and he’d never really appreciated the distinction between them until he started sleeping with Alex. He even enjoyed kissing other parts of his body other than his lips. There were all those moments where he’d just been in a good mood, and just felt like kissing him, even if it was on his forehead, or his hands, or his neck, or his stomach, it didn’t matter. Alex’s happy reaction to being kissed just spurred him on, so he kept doing it, because Alex liked it. Surprising him with kisses was his new favourite sport, and Alex adored it.  
  
But then, he also enjoyed Alex kissing him, too. Alex gave the sweetest, tenderest, softest little kisses. Every kiss was full of love, and Greg knew it. He could feel it. He could see it in the way he knelt beside his bed as he tenderly held his hand and kissed him gently until he woke up if they’d spent the night together. Greg had never had anyone do that to him before, it wasn’t even something he’d asked Alex to do, he’d just done it on his own, but it always made him smile, to be woken up with sweet little kisses from someone who clearly loved him very much. Breakfast would be waiting for him, and Alex would sit on the floor by his bed, waiting for his orders. He couldn't think of a better way to be woken, and it always put him in a good mood all day.  
  
Alex being in bed with him was strange, if he thought about it. Alex usually never joined him, not even after they’d had sex, muttering about knowing his place and not wanting to disturb him as he left him alone to sleep. Greg never pried into where he actually slept if he wasn’t sharing his bed, because there were no other beds in his flat, but sometimes, he did wonder. He felt Alex never wanted him to know, that it wasn’t important. Greg had never told him he couldn’t share his bed, because it was nice sleeping beside someone you loved, but Alex always said no. The first time they’d had sex was the only time they’d ever slept together in the same bed. But perhaps he would do more to invite Alex to share his bed, because it didn't seem fair that he should miss out on enjoying the fruits of his labour.  
  
God, he didn’t even want to hurry to have sex with him right now. He just wanted to hold him in his arms and kiss him for hours, and he normally never wanted to do that with Alex. But today, that’s all he wanted to do. He didn’t want to let him go. He knew that was dangerous, he knew what that meant, but he didn’t care. Alex had made him a Greg-sized bed, and he couldn’t remember the last time he’d ever been this happy. Alex’s pure joy was infectious, and he fell willingly into it.  
  
Hunger got the better of them in the end, when Alex began whispering about sausages, and sure, it wasn’t anything fancy, maybe no one else but them would ever consider it a romantic meal, but they were his favourite food, and he felt that no one had ever really appreciated that properly. A perfect romantic dinner, for Greg, wasn’t some posh fancy thing in a restaurant, though that was nice too if it was the right kind of place with the right kind of person because he did love good food. But if he had a choice, what Greg really liked best was good sausages in a quiet place with the one he loved. He was a simple man, and that’s all he needed. Perhaps too simple for some, but good food was good food, and he was hardly going to complain about being taken out for dinner, either.  
  
Alex had bought such a large selection of different kinds of sausages too, and he was keen to try them all. And if he kept his arms around Alex’s waist as he cooked them, Alex didn’t mind, because neither of them wanted to be far away from each other. Greg just wanted to smell those sausages cooking, and to give Alex all the little kisses he liked, appreciating how well he fit in his arms right there with him.  
  
“You are going to have to tell me where you got these from, they smell amazing,” Greg said.  
  
“I found this little gourmet butchers purely by accident and got one of every kind of sausage they had. I just thought this would make you happy. They even had some nice Spanish ones, I think you’ll like those,” Alex said.  
  
“Oh, I’m really going to need to know where this place is, I’ll buy them out of all their sausages if they make really good Spanish ones. No one in Britain makes them the way they do in Spain,” Greg said.  
  
“Oh, I know, sir, I know. Except for this place,” Alex said.  
  
“Oh, man, I can’t wait to eat these, they all smell so incredible,” Greg said.  
  
“I know, I know. Someone else might have made more of a meal out of it, but you can’t beat good sausages. Also, there’s a hot tub in the lab, waiting for us, if you wanted to sit in a bath you actually fit in, while drinking champagne and eating sausages with me,” Alex said.  
  
Greg couldn't help the wistful longing sigh he made at that news. “Why does no one ever think of these things except for you? God, Alex, that would be incredible. Other people have romantic baths together. I can’t. And I never thought I would ever want it until now. You really did think of everything, didn’t you?”  
  
“It’s my job to think of everything, sir. The bath and shower here are too small, but the lab is designed to be a wet room, so I put the tub in there. Though I did disguise the plastic sheets on the wall so it doesn’t feel so sterile. I hung up some pretty coloured tapestries and fairy lights, I just wanted to make it pretty for you, sir. It’s my job to make you happy, to do my best to please you, and if that means buying a hot tub, then so be it. I mean, if we really did live here together, I’d get a proper one installed, but we only had one day, and I had to set it up myself, so it’s just an inflatable one, but I got the best one I could find, just for you, because you’re worth it, sir,” Alex said.  
  
“Oh, I’m gonna fuck you so good tonight, Alex, you have really outdone yourself today,” Greg said, grinding against him.  
  
Alex turned around and touched his cheek as he gave him a soft, grateful little kiss. “Please, sir, can it last all night? I don’t want this to be over.”  
  
“It’ll be so agonisingly slow you’ll be begging me to let you come, boy,” Greg growled into his ear. He’d slipped into the Taskmaster’s head again now, and he could tell Alex had noticed. Alex shivered and gave a little shriek as Greg pinched his butt and nibbled hard on his neck. “Finish those sausages, boy, I’m _starving._ ”  
  
“Y-yes, sir, a-at once, s-sir,” Alex stammered, out of both submission and desire.  
  
Greg didn’t help Alex’s concentration as he caressed his butt cheeks with his hands, appreciating the way he tensed as his hands moved. Those big muscles were just crying out for a good spanking, Greg could tell, and he loved the way Alex flinched a little at his light little teasing pats. Alex finished as quickly as he could, and Greg gave him the space to clean up enough for him to be content before he took the plate of sausages and led his master down to the lab.  
  
Greg was very pleased with the tub, and with the decorations. There were more rose petals here, and the tub was just the right size, given how small the room was. There was just enough space for Alex to put a narrow bench curving around part of the tub, and he had to laugh as the tub glowed red, making it look vaguely as if it was some sort of portal to Hell.  
  
“Here you are, sir, one tub that’s big enough for you,” Alex said as he presented it to him.  
  
“Very nice. Of course, you got one with party lights in it, didn’t you?” Greg said.  
  
“It was the best one, sir! I was very thorough in choosing which one to get, sir!" Alex protested. "I didn’t know if you would even like the lights, and I almost didn't put them in, but they’re part of it. They were a pain to install, but I got them in. I’m better with wood, if I’m honest. I made the bench so I could sit there with you. So you should be able to devour me in warm, lovely comfort, sir, if you wish to do so.”  
  
Greg did quite like that idea very much, and he could already imagine it. “You’ve clearly decided I’m having this tub to myself, haven’t you?”  
  
Alex averted his gaze. “Well, I mean, sir, I wouldn’t want to intrude, sir, I-“  
  
“Good, you can sit on the bench you made, and feed me sausages. Including your own. Get on it. And get undressed, I’m not doing it for you, you’re not a baby,” Greg said.  
  
“Yes, sir, right away, sir,” Alex said.  
  
Greg undressed, leaving his clothes on the chair near the door, and watched Alex do as he’d been told. He was kinda getting turned on now in all the right ways, as Alex undressed, finished preparing the tub, and invited his master to step into the water. And, God, the water was wonderfully warm, too, and in spite of it being inflatable, it seemed like a fairly sturdy sort of tub, which surprised him.  
  
“How do you like it, sir? I hope it’s warm enough for you. It also has little spa jets for massage, if you don’t want me to rub you down, of course,” Alex said.  
  
“I mean, I could do without the demonic red lights, but it’s lovely, thank you, Alex,” Greg said.  
  
Alex quickly switched the lights off and moved to the bench, getting into position as Greg sat down and let himself stretch out in the water.  
  
“Oh, God, this is lovely. I wish I had room for one of these in my flat, I’d never leave it,” Greg said.  
  
Alex turned the jets on, and they felt better than he’d anticipated. All the stress began to feel like it was melting away into the water.  
  
“You can get a slightly smaller one, sir, it might fit on your balcony,” Alex said.  
  
“I don’t think we’re allowed them, but it would be lovely. God, this is so nice. I really need to find room for one of these. I can keep this too, can’t I? Because I really want one,” Greg said.  
  
“You can keep it, sir, of course, if you want it. It’s not like it can stay here,” Alex said.  
  
“Oh, God.” Greg lay back, getting lost in the warm sensations all over his body. All those little aches he'd got used to living with slowly began to vanish. Everything felt so good. He was determined to find room for this in his flat. Somewhere, he could make this fit. Surely, he could find room for it somewhere. He closed his eyes and let the sensations take over, drinking in just how good the jets felt against his skin, slowly teasing out the knots in his muscles he'd just learnt to live with.  
  
“Let me know when you would like your sausages, sir,” Alex said, breaking his reverie.  
  
Greg turned to him and smiled. “Oh, yes, you’re going to feed me sausages. Should I eat yours first, or after I’ve consumed all the ones you’ve cooked for me? I hope none of them have chilli in them.”  
  
Greg laughed at the way Alex’s face looked a little more concerned now than it had before at the prospect of Greg sucking him off after eating spicy sausages.  
  
“I-I, sir, y-you had better eat me first, I like pain, but I-I, oh, God, I-I do not consent to that kind of pain, sir, no thank you, sir,” Alex said, his voice full of fear.  
  
Greg enjoyed his panic, though he hadn’t really planned to be that cruel to him, particularly not when he’d just said he didn’t want it. Alex might be willing to try anything, but Greg always made sure he said yes to it first. He was pleased that Alex had finally found a boundary he wasn't willing to cross, and was enforcing it, rather than just letting Greg do whatever he liked to him for once. He really needed to make Alex understand that he really was allowed to have preferences and that he could have things he liked to do more than others that he could ask for if he wanted to. He was allowed to say no. He didn't just have to do all the things Greg wanted to do. That was what made sex fun, when they were both doing things they liked.  
  
“Then you’d better get your sausage out, hadn’t you?” Greg said as he moved over to him on his knees.  
  
Alex shifted into position, letting his legs dangle over into the water out of necessity because there was no other place to put his legs that would work. Greg wasted little time moving between his legs as he took hold of his cock and began stroking him. Alex's legs came to rest over Greg's shoulders, and gave Greg the chance to hold them close and really intensify the pleasure he was giving him. Alex made these adorable little gasps every time Greg sucked the head, and Greg took his time, not wanting to rush too much.  
  
“Do you want me to make you come, boy? Or are you going to save yourself for me until the end of the night?” Greg said.  
  
“I will save myself for you, sir, I just thought you might appreciate having access to me as well, you can play with me as much as you want, sir,” Alex said.  
  
Greg smiled and kept working him, taking the opportunity to edge him a few times, just to make the sex later worth it by making him as frustrated as possible. He might've gone for a cock ring if they weren't going to be much longer, but he didn't want to actually injure him like that, because he did very much like sucking his cock, so it was not in his interests to damage it that way. That, and he wasn't sure his wife would ever forgive him if he did that to Alex, and he was very keen to keep Alex in his life as long as possible.  
  
When Alex said he couldn't take it anymore, Greg stopped, not wanting to push him so far he ruined the sex later. He finished with a lingering kiss, and brought Alex down into the water with him, just so he could kiss him some more and hold him close.  
  
"You are letting me in the water with you, sir? Thank you, sir, thank you so very much, sir," whispered Alex as he held on to him.  
  
"Yes, I want to be close to you. Bring me sausages. I want to try them all now," Greg said.  
  
"Yes, sir, but can I blindfold you, please, sir? I promise it will make it even more incredible for you, sir," Alex said.  
  
"You want to blindfold me while you feed me sausages? You do have some weird kinks," Greg said.  
  
"It's not weird, it's sensual eating, it's just the kind of thing I think you would really enjoy, sir. It makes you focus on the food and its sensations as well as the sensuality of touch. I promise you, it's worth it. I let you try all sorts of things with me, but for once, please let me try this one thing with you. Please, sir, can I blindfold you?" Alex said.  
  
"Alright, you can blindfold me. I'm interested now. You'd better make this really fucking sensual though," Greg said.  
  
"Oh, it will be, I promise," Alex said.  
  
Greg submitted to the blindfold, and he noticed it immediately made the spa feel even more incredible. The pressure from the jets was more intense, and he could feel Alex moving him slightly, getting him back to where the wall of the tub was against his back, so he knew where he was. And then, Alex was with him, his hands on his chest, and there were soft kisses, and little tiny licks, and Greg could smell the sausages because Alex seemed to be holding them just under his nose so he could smell them before he let Greg taste them, whispering the name of each of them as he went.  
  
Greg had never experienced food that way before, but he liked it. He liked it very much. He possibly liked it too much. Alex was touching him everywhere, in the softest, tenderest ways, sometimes feeding him with his mouth as much as with his fingers. He felt incredible, as if he was experiencing all of this for the very first time, because in some ways, he really was. It wasn't that sensuality and foreplay weren't part of his repertoire, because they very much were, he was a very physical lover. He'd just never done it to this level before. Alex seriously knew what he was doing, and it surprised him in ways he hadn't even imagined before. He'd never been touched like this, to have someone really enjoy touching his body, to make him feel good, to kiss him and stroke him, and feed him in a slow, sensual way that he couldn't help being turned on by.  
  
Alex was in no rush at all, and Greg was fine with that. His body felt incredible. Alex left no part of his body untouched, not even his cock, and he sucked gently on his fingers and cuddled up to him. The fact that all the sausages tasted amazing also made him feel good. He loved good food, and he loved good sausages. Together with Alex's tender touch, they were unbeatable. Greg definitely wanted Alex to do this with him again, because he was right, this was something Greg enjoyed very much. How could he not? It involved food and touch and Alex's little kisses, all the good things he adored in life.  
  
The most intense moment came with the chilli sausages, which Alex fed to him with his mouth, and Greg enjoyed the soft glow of warmth on his lips, and his tongue, and when Alex kissed him afterwards, it was fiercer than Greg had imagined, and his lips tingled as the kiss continued. Greg held him close, and, God, he was so tempted to just lie him down on that wooden bench and fuck him senseless, but he calmed himself down. There was no point in rushing.  
  
"I hope you enjoyed that, master," Alex murmured to him when he was finished, slowly whispering more praise against his neck that made Greg shiver.  
  
"Where the fuck did you learn to do that, Alex? That was incredible," Greg breathed.  
  
"Oh, I just - it doesn't matter. I just thought you would enjoy it, sir, I know you love food, and I know you love being touched, so I thought I would try it with you so you could experience it too. I mean, it's nicer with at least three people, then you can have everyone just touching you and it's incredible," Alex said.  
  
"Oh, does your wife do this with you? Is that where you learned it?" Greg said.  
  
"Oh, I do it for her, and sometimes I watch while she does it with her lovers, it's wonderful. I love being able to make her feel incredible, and it's quiet enough we can do it in the house and not risk waking anyone up," Alex said. "Once, sir, she tied me up, and she and two others fed me and touched me and it went on for nearly two hours, sir. And when she had sex with me afterwards, while I was still blindfolded, God, that was incredible, sir. I think that was my favourite ever birthday present, sir."  
  
"Well, perhaps we should try this again later. I like the idea of tying you up and frustrating you for hours, that sounds like so much fun," Greg said.  
  
Alex made a tiny little moan of desire at that suggestion, and Greg smiled. He did love tormenting Alex, and this might be a very useful way to do that. He brought Alex's head close so he could whisper in his ear.  
  
"I'll tie you to my brand new bed tonight, and drive you mad with desire. I'll touch you, lick you, feed you, maybe I'll use ice cubes or melted chocolate, maybe I'll never let you come all night and only at dawn will I finally fuck you and make you scream as I let you come at last. Maybe that's what we'll do tonight," Greg whispered, feeling Alex shiver in his arms at the suggestion. He could also feel Alex's cock harden a little against his body.  
  
"Oh, sir, that would - I can't even - oh, please, sir -"  
  
Greg kissed his cheek. "Well, perhaps you do deserve it since you've done so much for me today. And perhaps a lovely hard spanking too, because I know you love that pain rush, and you haven't had a good spanking for a while now."  
  
Alex clutched on to him, and Greg could hear the desire in his breathing. Greg held him and stroked him, kissed him, and ran his fingers all the way down his body. Alex shivered, and his cock might've been fully erect by the time Greg stopped.  
  
Greg squeezed his balls. "Calm down, Alex, not yet. Don't you ruin this for me, now."  
  
Alex swallowed. "No, sir, I promise I won't, sir. Are you ready for me to remove the blindfold yet?"  
  
"Just - kiss me again, just for a while longer," Greg said.  
  
"Of course, sir," Alex said.  
  
Greg knew, deep in his heart, that he loved him. He knew that now. He couldn't hide that from himself anymore. But instead of burying it beneath layers of denial and pain, for one day at least, he gave in to it. He held Alex close and gave him everything. He wished this moment would never end, because he knew that once they left, once tomorrow came, Greg would bury that love deep in his heart, because he knew their relationship was doomed. There was no way they could be lovers, but for this one moment, he gave in to his heart and let himself love him.  
  
But when their kisses did come to an end, it was replaced by the sensation of champagne bubbles, and a glass being pressed to his lips, and he'd honestly never experienced champagne that felt as fucking amazing as that did, accompanied as it was by soft kisses from Alex against his neck, and soft murmurings of love as his hands traced little patterns on his chest. He was glad he was still blindfolded so Alex couldn't see the tears of joy pooling in his eyes.  
  
"My heart is waiting for you whenever you are ready, sir," Alex said. "But it now getting a bit late, sir, and we should think about cleaning up and getting this lovely bed back to your flat so you can make love to me all night long, sir."  
  
Greg smiled and playfully spanked him in the water as he removed the blindfold. "You really know how to ruin a mood, don't you? But I do want to get that bed home, so I'm happy with that. I can't wait to sleep in it tonight."  
  
"It's alright, sir, we can always do this again another time. But it will take some time to clean up and I'll need to go and get the truck and I'm sorry, sir, I'm ruining the mood again, aren't I? The shower works if you want to clean off, I did make a bit of a mess, sorry, sir," Alex said.  
  
Greg just kissed him. "Don't apologise. I don't even care about the mess, because I feel better than I've felt in a long time. Thank you, Alex. I wish I'd been able to come over earlier, I'm sure we could have spent a lot longer together in this wonderful water."  
  
"But we've still got the night to ourselves, it isn't over yet. We just need to clean the house up so no one knows we've been here at all. This'll just be our little secret, sir," Alex said.  
  
"And what a secret, Alex, what a secret," Greg said.  
  
Alex kissed him one last time before he pulled away from him to dry off and dress and begin the clean up. Greg watched him go, unable to stop smiling at him. Alex didn't stop looking at him, either, not until he was dressed, then he gave his master one more kiss before he left to go get the truck.  
  
Greg watched him go, feeling the pleasure still gently filling his body. He stayed there a moment longer before he got out too. He might've been sad to leave it if he hadn't been taking it home with him. He grabbed the plate and the glasses and the champagne and took them into the kitchen before heading back to shower, if only to quickly clean himself off before he got dressed.  
  
Greg found a quiet calm in the mundane work of cleaning up. He let Alex tell him what to do, since Alex had set it all up and therefore knew what needed to be tidied, and he found he hadn't really appreciated just how good Alex was at his job until he saw how organised he was, and how quickly they'd got everything packed up in the truck and the house looking spotless, as if they'd never been there.  
  
"I'll see you back at yours, then, sir," Alex said as he locked the front door.  
  
"Sure, I can't wait to get that bed set up and then fuck you all night on it," Greg said, leaning in to give him a kiss.  
  
Alex decided to let his master have the last word, and with another submissive little bow, he went to the truck and prepared to leave. Greg left first, though he did notice the card and the little thin box that now sat on the passenger seat beside him, as if Alex had been too scared to give it to him in person. He didn't want to hold Alex up any further though and saved it till later, thinking of a way to make Alex give them to him properly.  
  
It didn't take much to convince Greg that Alex had made the bed as portable as possible. It came apart in very manageable pieces and it took little time to get it up to Greg's flat. The mattress took the most work, but they were expecting that. Once they'd got the bedding, and the hot tub up, that was it, and they took a break before they tackled Greg's not-as-portable bed that he currently had.  
  
"Do you want me to do anything with your old bed, sir?" Alex asked.  
  
"If you feel like carting it all the way down to the truck, go for your life. I don't really care what you do with it, but you might not want to keep the mattress, for, well, I'm sure you can guess why. But the bed frame's still good. I just want it gone, to be honest," Greg said. "I'm ready for a bed that fits me. You did say it would fit, didn't you?"  
  
"In your room? Yes, yes, it will fit. Depending on how you want it to sit, you might need to move the chest of drawers, but that's really up to you. It will definitely fit though, I triple checked to make sure," Alex said.  
  
"Alright, let's get the old one out. The sooner we get the new one in, the sooner I can fuck you senseless for such an amazing gift," Greg said.  
  
"Ooh, do I get to be the first person you have sex with on your new bed? That's a lovely honour, thank you, sir," Alex said.  
  
"It's the least I can do since you made it for me in the first place. I'll make it last all night, don't you worry about that," Greg said.  
  
Greg kissed him again, for no other reason than he hadn't grown tired of it yet. He stopped himself getting too carried away, and gave Alex's butt a swift little pat as they went to disassemble the old bed. It took less time than they anticipated, and longer than it should've done, and Alex, it turned out, was better at this kind of thing than Greg, and figured out how to take the frame apart properly. It was soon in pieces in the living room, along with the mattress and the bedding he had no more use for.  
  
Alex insisted on taking a moment to clean the floor before they got the new bed in, and Greg stood back, not willing to get in his way when he was cleaning. It did mean he got to stare at his cute butt, so he didn't really mind watching from the doorway. He was definitely going to give that boy a damn good spanking tonight, and not to punish him, but to reward him. Alex liked being spanked, and Greg liked spanking him. They had a lot of things in common like that, it seemed. But to Greg, the look of pure elation and joy on Alex's face, and the tears that he shed, after he'd been spanked well for pleasure was just sublime, and Greg loved bringing that out in him. Alex would just gaze up at him with his beautiful tired eyes that were full of love, joy, and gratitude, and he'd smile, exhausted, but so very happily, and Greg would just cuddle him and kiss his tears away and hold him close. It was the most wonderful feeling.  
  
"Time to get the new bed in, sir," Alex said.  
  
Greg had drifted off as he'd thought about spanking Alex, if he was being honest, and Alex's voice broke him out of his dreams. "Oh, yes, of course, let's do this."  
  
"Dare I ask what you were thinking about, sir?" Alex asked.  
  
"I was thinking about how much of a good spanking you're going to get tonight, boy. I hope you've been saving up your tears for me," Greg said, unable to help adding in a slight growl to his voice, just to make his domination clear.  
  
Alex shivered in anticipation. "Oh, sir, that would be wonderful, thank you. Oh, and sir, I have another gift for you. From my wife," Alex said as he got out his phone. He showed Greg a text from her. "I'm allowed to top you tonight, sir, if you want. But only tonight. Because it's Valentine's Day. I had to beg all week for permission."  
  
"I bet you did. That's very generous of her. Tell her I'm very grateful for her lovely gift. Well, I know what you're getting to do last then. If you're only going to get to do this once, you'd better save yourself for me, so you can fuck me as slow as you can just as the sun's rising. I want to feel you come hard inside me, I want to feel your orgasm wash through my whole body, I want to hear you scream out your pleasure to the morning light as you finally get to come. Do you think you're up for that, Alex?" Greg said.  
  
"Of course, sir, that would feel wonderful, sir," Alex said. "But, first, sir, I think we should get your new bed made, so we will have a place to have sex on, sir."  
  
"That's a very good idea. Let's go bring it in and see where it's going to fit," Greg said. "It definitely will fit, yeah?"  
  
"It will. You'll see when it's in here and laid out how big it will be and we can move things around if we need to before we get it set up properly," Alex said.  
  
Greg wasn't going to suggest otherwise, and helped Alex carry the frame in. He'd seen it taken apart once, so it did sort of make sense to him how it went back together, but this wasn't really his thing, and Alex knew it better than he did. They laid out the pieces on the floor and Greg could see better now how it would fit with everything else. It was definitely going to be a tight squeeze if he left it where his old bed had been, but it kinda was the best position for it in the room, and yet. Greg just wasn't sure.  
  
"Alright, you've spent months picturing this bed in my room. Where would you put it?" Greg said, giving up.  
  
"I guess it depends on whether you want to get a new chest of drawers, because you could move it under the window if you did and the bed would be fine there, but I also thought it might work against the wall too, but perhaps not quite as well with a nightstand." Alex paused and looked down at his feet. "I mean, sir, I did think a nice long chest of drawers under the window would make a lovely spanking bench, sir, if you wanted to do that. Then you could do all my punishments there, where I know I'm going to be punished if you tell me to get up there. And - and I like the thought that I might be seen, maybe. I like that kind of pain. I could have one made - with the right sort of - so you can restrain me, sir - if you want to though - I just - I'm sorry, I just thought that would be nice, sir."  
  
"Well, it would save on needing to get a dedicated spanking bench, and you've kept saying you wanted one for punishments, so maybe that's doable. I do like my bed where it is, and the thought that I could leave you there on the bench in front of the window all day as punishment sounds great to me," Greg said. "What's the benefit of having it made for me instead of just finding the longest one that fits?"  
  
"Oh, sir, I mean, I can ask them to put proper rings on for restraints, sir, but they make them so you'd never know that's what they're used for. They make this kind of fetish stuff, they know what they're doing. I had them make one for my wife for me, and it's lovely. Not that she spanks, me, sir, it's too noisy and she won't allow noise, but she does other things to me when I'm tied up there. But they build it properly so it can take a good punishment, but it's also just a normal chest of drawers. There's a space across the back for a proper cushion for extra padding when you're paddling me, sir, but it can be hidden away from sight. And there's a hidden, lockable drawer where we keep all our gear, so the children can't ever get to it, though I doubt you'll need that, sir," Alex said.  
  
"No, I probably don't, but it does sound lovely. I think you'd better get one made for me, then, that sounds just like what we need. Alright, we'll move the chest of drawers and keep the bed where it is. Come on, let's move that first, then we'll put the bed together," Greg said.  
  
More hard work followed, as the chest was moved, and the bed put in place. A few other things needed to be shifted just a little to make it all work, but Alex had made the bed just the right size to fit with everything else in the room. By the time they had the bed put together, and the mattress on, and all the bedding put into place, it was time for dinner, but not before Greg pulled Alex into a warm, loving hug as he fell back onto the bed.  
  
"I'm so glad you're here with me, Alex," Greg said and gave him a kiss.  
  
"I'm always glad to be with you, sir," Alex said.  
  
Greg held him close. He could feel his love for Alex burning in his chest, and if they were in any position to be lovers, this would be the moment where he confesses his love for him, and their romance blossoms. But they weren't in that position. Alex was married. And they had a show to do. Greg just could not kick out the worst-case scenarios from his head. They haunted him. He just did not trust that it would stay secret, nor that when it did come to light, that they would be well-treated. Nothing in his experience told him that would ever happen, and it made him sad. He wanted to love him. He wanted to live in a world where he could give himself to Alex and no one would care. But fantasies didn't do anything to help with that. They just made him sad.  
  
"Are you thinking about anything, sir? You seem a little distracted," Alex said.  
  
Greg smiled in spite of himself. "Oh, nothing but the usual melancholy. I wish I could be the man you really want, Alex, the one who can love you with no shame, and no fear, but I'm not that man. I'm afraid it will just end up causing more pain than I want to be responsible for. You do understand that, right? I'm trying to be the better man here, and not mess this up."  
  
"I know, sir, I know. I wish things were different. All I've ever wanted was for you to be happy, sir. That's all. My job is to make you happy. And I feel like this is the one thing I can't fix for you. I can't make you happy, and it makes me feel like a failure. I wish things were better. I wish I could fix it. But then I don't know if you even want me to fix it," Alex said.  
  
"You're not a failure, Alex, not at all. Don't you ever say that to me again. You're not responsible for fixing my hang-ups. But you do make me happy. Perhaps I don't say it enough, but you do. Particularly today. I have never regretted one moment of my time with you. I could not have asked for a better assistant. Let's not be sad now, yeah? Let's go get some food, and stay up all night together, drowning in pleasure," Greg said.  
  
Alex replied with a kiss before he insisted on cooking for him. Greg was happy to let him do so, but Alex wouldn't let him in the kitchen with him, he wanted it to be a surprise. So Greg simply lay on his bed and closed his eyes, drinking in the experience of lying on a bed he actually fit on. It was the most indescribable feeling, and he smiled, and he knew he would be smiling for a long time afterwards.  
  
As his mind turned to the carvings, he thought about the dreams, too, and idly wondered if this bed might bring them back again. It had been a while, and he had kind of thought they were done, since they hadn't come back. But the more he thought about them, and the more he thought about the carvings on the bed, the more he was sure it wasn't a coincidence. But how on earth could Alex have known about them? He hadn't left the dream notes lying around where Alex could find them, and anyway, Alex wasn't a snoop. If Greg told him not to touch something, he obeyed. If something was off-limits, Alex respected that. Which meant the only other way he could know about it was if he'd been dreaming too.  
  
But that was absurd. People don't just share dreams. They particularly don't share dreams about kings and dragons. That's just some fantasy bullshit about some hero being called to their destiny. That sort of thing doesn't happen in real life, not at all.  
  
"But how else could he know? There's no other way he could know about the dreams," Greg murmured, unable to believe it.  
  
"Have you been dreaming, sir?" Alex said. "I've got our dinner, sir. I - thought we might eat in here. Is it about the crowns and the dragons on the bed, sir? Because if it is, then..."  
  
Greg sat up. "What do you know about them? Why did you carve them into my bed? Have you really been dreaming about them too?"  
  
Alex joined him on the bed and set down the tray of food. "I haven't said anything because I didn't know if you were dreaming too, and I didn't want to upset you. They are strange, but I understand them, I think." He paused. "Do you understand them, sir?"  
  
"Honestly, for a long time I've just dismissed them as part of the grieving process because that's when they started, when my dad died. I don't know how else to interpret them, but they keep coming back. Tell me what I'm dreaming about, just so I know you're not lying," Greg said.  
  
"I see you in a dark cave, high on Mt Snowdon, and I'm there with you. There are dragons and ancient kings, and ancestors there. They proclaim you King of the Welsh, and you are crowned in glory. I am now the Prince of England and given a little coronet. King Arthur is there too, and he gives you his army of knights from under the mountain. I've seen your father a few times, but sometimes I've seen my own ancestors as well. Do you understand what this means, sir?" Alex said.  
  
"How do you know so much detail about what's going on? Can you understand what they're saying?" Greg said.  
  
Alex glanced down a moment, embarrassed. "Yes, sir, sort of. I might have tried speaking Latin to them, just to see if any of them were old Roman-era Welsh kings, and, well, they were, and they could speak back. I can't speak Welsh, but I know my Latin. That's how I know what's going on, sir. It's the only time my degree's ever been useful. I didn't want to say anything, because I know you don't like me being clever like this, sir. But I also know my mythology. King Arthur is the king under the mountain, remember? The red and the white dragon? Surely you know these stories."  
  
"Yeah, sure, but why on earth am I dreaming about all that anyway? Why am I being crowned? I'm not a king," Greg said.  
  
"I ... Sir, I hesitate to say this, because I don't even know if I'm right, but I think it is a calling, sir. I think you are being called to become the king of Wales and restore the throne. You must know the hero's journey archetypes, though, right? It's like that, sir," Alex said.  
  
Greg didn't really know what to say to that, because that just sounded absurd, like all of it did. It wasn't a calling. It couldn't be a calling. No way would anyone want to make him king. That sort of thing never happened.  
  
"I don't know why anyone would want me to be king, Alex. I'm not a king. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like being Taskmaster, but that kind of power in my hands? I don't know if that's really wise. I will become a tyrant, and I don't think anyone would want that," Greg said.  
  
"I don't know why they want you to be king, sir, but I think the only way to know for sure is to go to the mountain and find out, sir," Alex said.  
  
"No way. That's never happening. Let them keep sending me dreams for all I care. I don't want to talk about it any more tonight. I just want to spend the night fucking you until dawn. Now, what did you bring us to eat tonight? I'm starving," Greg said, changing the subject.  
  
Alex looked a little flustered as he spoke. "Well, sir, I thought, if you wanted to, you might - I mean, you did say you liked - I mean, I can get my ropes, you can - if you want, I mean -"  
  
"What have I told you about using complete sentences, Alex. Say it again," Greg said.  
  
"Oh, it's just - you said you wanted to tie me up and feed me and touch me and I just thought maybe that might be nice, if you still wanted to do that, sir," Alex said quickly.  
  
"Oh, I do, Alex, I very much do. Yes, go get your ropes, I'll tie you up and torment you all night long," Greg said with just the right amount of growl to make Alex squeal with delight as he rushed off the bed to get his ropes.  
  
What followed, when Alex returned, was Greg undressing him and tying him to his bed, with plenty of slack to make sure he was comfortable being bound for a long period of time, and then Greg had him completely at his mercy. He loved the way Alex just submitted to him. His body was just so compliant and still. He lay there obediently as Greg put the blindfold on and slowly began his torments.  
  
There was something just so exquisite about having someone at his mercy like this. Certainly, he checked in with Alex regularly to make sure he was still alright and still enjoying himself, but for the most part, Alex just accepted it all. He accepted the feeding, the kisses, the way Greg touched him _everywhere_ and made him shiver, and Greg loved that. Greg just took his time, slowly building sensation upon sensation, gentle caresses, the slow chill of ice cubes making a river on the inside of his thigh, his hot breath and his mouth almost but not quite on his cock, the little tiny pats, the soft gentle kisses, his big, wonderful hands slowly, gently rubbing down his entire body, the soft whispers in Alex's ear that made him shiver, all of it. It was a very slow burn, but Greg knew what he was doing, and he'd trained Alex to the point where he knew he could control himself long enough until he was ready to let him come.  
  
When they'd finished the food Alex had brought, Greg decided it was time for a spanking. He untied him from the bed, but then bound his hands and feet, because Alex did prefer being spanked while tied up. He got them both comfortable on the bed, and lay Alex down across his lap and began with the softest little pats, this time leaving the blindfold on just to see if it intensified the pain for him.  
  
Alex's behaviour during these kind of spankings was always much calmer and more relaxed. Because it was all about pleasure, rather than punishment, Greg spent a lot longer warming him up, and teasing his butt just the way he liked it. Greg could tell how well he was doing by how hard Alex's cock was as it pressed into his leg, as well as all the little squeals of delight as he took a moment to knead him, or to play with his butthole using his fingers, or perhaps a dildo, giving him continuous sensation that just kept building as Greg's spanks got slowly harder. Every now and then he'd turn him around, to rest his hands, and sometimes that involved Greg turning Alex momentarily onto his front so he could stroke his cock for a while and kiss him.  
  
He spoke to Alex differently too. Alex didn't respond to the humiliation that punishment spankings gave when he wanted the pain like this. Humiliation wasn't the point of it, it was the pain itself. So Greg didn't call him names, or shout at him, or make him feel awful, because that didn't work. What did work was Greg telling Alex how much of a pain slut he was, how he would do anything to feel pain, that he really wanted it. Alex would enthusiastically respond to it all, telling him how much he loved it, and begging Greg to hit him harder. These sessions were always long spanking sessions, because Alex enjoyed it so much more when Greg drew it out as long as possible and left him frustrated for as long as possible, only getting harder when he was ready to hit harder, not when Alex wanted it. Greg also found it was easier on his wrists to make it take as long as possible, because Alex could take a lot of spankings and a lot of pain before he was done.  
  
When Greg got to the hardest spanks, Alex was really beginning to hurt, and his butt was so beautifully red. Greg just couldn't help caressing it, kneading it, kissing it, or even just nibbling that red hot skin, and Alex delighted in it all. If he was punishing Alex, this would be the point where he got the paddle out, but it was never used when Alex just wanted pleasure. Instead, Greg hit him as hard as he knew Alex could handle, and kept going until Alex was crying. And Alex cried differently too during these spankings. This wasn't the infantilised sobbing of a punished child, they were tears of joy. The pain brought him to tears, and he enjoyed every moment of those sensations.  
  
That was usually the point at which Greg stopped, and brought Alex into his arms to comfort him. Alex would cry even harder if he stroked his cock until he came, giving him an extra wave of pleasure to rush into the pain he was already feeling.  
  
Tonight, Greg had other plans. He wasn't going to let Alex come just yet, but he did stroke him a little as he cuddled him in his arms. Alex whispered his thanks to him, and when Greg untied him, Alex wrapped his arms close around his neck and cried against his shoulder while Greg rubbed his back gently and told him what a good boy he'd been. Afterwards, Alex lay in his arms and gazed up at him, tired but so utterly happy. Greg just kissed the top of his head, and let the silence be for a while before they tried something else.  
  
There were other moments, too. Moments, close to midnight, after Greg had spent some time giving Alex a massage to calm him down after the spanking he'd got, when Greg lay beside him, and brought him into his arms, and just whispered to him how much he adored him, words he often found hard to say, because it wasn't his job to offer him fawning adoration, but they were words that Alex needed to hear, just once, just in this moment. There were soft little touches, and Greg trying not to cry out of sheer joy and love for him for everything he'd done for him today. Greg just wanted to spend the rest of the night kissing him, so that's what he did.  
  
He brought him into his arms, and he didn't want to let him go. He knew, once morning came, once the new day began, all this magic would end. He'd lock this love away in the depths of his heart and pretend he didn't care, because love was fragile and easily bruised, he'd learnt that the hard way. Better to lock it away where no one can hurt it so he can be the master Alex wants him to be.    
  
They lay together as lovers, touched each other as lovers, whiling away the hours together, only leaving the bed to make more food, and to shower together just because they could. Greg fucked him so many different ways, slowly building that arousal back up as dawn crept ever closer. He was still adamant that the last thing he wanted to experience was Alex fucking him agonisingly slowly before being able to come at last. He wanted to feel that completely before they fell asleep together, so he did everything to make Alex as frustrated as possible.  
  
Not that he neglected his own desires, either. Alex touched him so beautifully, and perhaps Greg let him feed him again, and touch him, and remind him of how amazing his body was and how much sensation he could feel. It ended with Alex's mouth around his cock, and Greg drank all of that pleasure in, relishing the blindfold that enhanced the sensations more than he could have guessed. It took all his strength not to give in, to save his pleasure for what was to come.  
  
By the time the sun was beginning to rise, they were both exhausted, but that didn't even matter. Alex was a little nervous about topping Greg, because he'd never done it with him before, and he didn't want to hurt him, but Greg reassured him he was fine, that he was used to it, and he should just go as slow as possible. After some encouragement and gentle teasing, Greg lay on his front while Alex gently prepped him and then slowly pushed inside him. Greg let out a groan of pleasure, as did Alex. Alex lay on top of him, staying as close as possible as he began the laziest fuck he possibly could manage. And it felt incredible. Greg loved the weight of Alex on top of him, how their bodies fit together perfectly, and the way their fingers tangled together. He loved the feel of Alex's cock inside him, and the slow way he thrust in and out, in and out, with no real hurry at all.  
  
Alex only sped up a little just before he came, and then he pushed in hard, clutching on to Greg as his orgasm shot through him. Greg felt it too, and he knew he wouldn't need much more to follow him, but he wasn't thinking about that, he was thinking about Alex's breathing in his ear, the soft little kisses Alex gave him on his neck, the way he had squeezed his hands tight and cried out as he'd come at last, how he'd felt all of the throbbing pleasure Alex was feeling, and it felt incredible to experience that. Greg always felt he learned a lot about his lovers by how they topped him, and he was a little sad this had to be the only time for them, but he'd cherish this moment, because Alex was such a gentle considerate top, and he loved the way he had sex with him.  
  
Alex didn't move from him for a long time, reluctant for this moment to end. They lay there together, and Greg was almost sure he would fall asleep, but then Alex finally pulled away, and Greg turned over to look at him, and all he did was bring Alex into a fierce kiss and hold him close. Alex pushed him down onto his back, and Greg lay there, entranced as Alex sat between his legs to finish him off, only he didn't start sucking him off like he was expecting. Instead, Alex began lubing him up before he slid down on top of him, and rode him with as much energy as he had left. Greg held on to him, and eventually shifted him over so he was lying beneath him, and Greg fucked him slowly until he finally came, clutching him close as he finished off inside him.  
  
Alex gave him a soft little kiss, and then they just lay there in each other's arms, needing nothing more from each other. The sun rose. The city below woke up. They slept on, oblivious.  
  
It was only later, after Alex had left, that Greg remembered the card and the small little gift Alex had left in his car before they left the Taskmaster house. The little box turned out to have a lovely gold pen inside, with the word 'Taskmaster' engraved on the side. It felt like a quality pen, which Greg approved of. He loved a good pen. The card that came with it contained so few words that were nevertheless filled with Alex's love for him. He could feel it. It was as if Alex was constraining himself, to not just write a long rambly letter to him, but to tell Greg he loved him using as few words as possible. He had to smile at it, sent Alex a thank you text for everything they'd done together, and then, he tucked it away in the drawer with the other cards, the forlorn dreams of a relationship that could never be, no matter how much they wanted it.


	5. Valentine's Day, 2017: Tell Me Where It Hurts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Five Lyrics: [Garbage - Tell Me Where It Hurts](http://lyrics.wikia.com/wiki/Garbage:Tell_Me_Where_It_Hurts)

Greg woke to Alex's soft little kisses on his hands again, and he smiled at him as he opened his eyes. Alex gazed up at him and kissed his hand again, whispering a gentle 'good morning, sir' against his skin. Greg just wanted to lie there all day, but that wasn't going to happen, not today. They were right in the middle of studio filming for series four, which sometimes seemed absurd when Greg thought about it, and there was no time for anything else today except perhaps a little time together before they had to get moving. Greg felt that was probably for the best, given it was Valentine's Day, and he assumed Alex had prepared something anyway, in spite of the lack of time, in spite of Greg's reluctance to even acknowledge their relationship that way.   
  
"I hope you slept well, sir," Alex said. "Would you like your breakfast, sir? I - you know what day it is today, so I made you something special. I know there's no time, but I had to do something, sir, for you, to make you feel special today."  
  
"Yeah, go on, I know you're just trying to make me happy, and I appreciate that, Alex," Greg said.  
  
Greg sat up as Alex went to bring in his breakfast. It had been a bit of a crazy year, if he was being honest, and he was still processing a lot of it. These filming weeks had become the most intense time for them, because the days were long, and Greg wouldn't let Alex drive home afterwards even though Chesham wasn't that far away, so Alex stayed with him. Which just meant they literally spent a whole week together, and Greg hadn't expected that to change their relationship as much as it had, because this was only the third time it had ever happened. This series was even worse, because they were filming two episodes a day instead of one, and there was no energy left by the time they got home to do more than shower, perhaps have a little food, talk about the tapings as a way to calm down and prepare for the next lot, with perhaps some soft kisses and cuddles before they fell asleep together to do it all again the next day.  
  
It was one thing to have Alex around every now and then, but it was entirely another matter to have him there when they were also doing the show, because Greg found he stayed in character more than he'd have expected, and he still wasn't sure how he felt about that. Alex certainly enjoyed it though, because it meant he got his punishments at home after the show, and he said it helped him hone his own character, to be able to work out the kinks at home before they got out there in front of an audience. Besides, if they were planning to make jokes about them living together, it helped if they at least had some experiences to draw from, that was Alex's excuse anyway. It was certainly fun to imagine what their lives would be like if they really were living together full-time, and in character, and it was fair to say some of those imaginings had led to some quite hot sex, which was half the reason they kept those fantasies going, like it was some parallel universe and they were living in both.   
  
In some ways, Greg thought they really were, particularly during studio weeks. They were with each other 24/7, and somehow they really never had grown tired of each other's company. And now it was beginning to feel like this might become their routine, that twice a year, they got to just drown in each other's company for a week and make a silly show together and just make each other laugh. Because Taskmaster was so much fun to make, even though these weeks were long and tiring in their own way. If he was lucky, he got to take Alex out for drinks at the end of the week, and they'd crash back home, fuck like there was no tomorrow, and perhaps fall asleep tangled in each other's arms.   
  
It was still the only time Greg ever insisted that Alex had to sleep in bed with him, too, because he needed Alex to be at his best for the tapings, and he couldn't do that if he kept sleeping in a dog bed on the floor, or wherever it was Alex usually slept when he wasn't in bed with him. And there definitely was a dog bed. He had accidentally found it tucked away in the back of a cupboard, and as he didn't have a dog, and it was quite a large one, he assumed Alex must be using it. But he'd never really talked to him about it because Alex just got cagey about it any time he asked where he slept when he stayed over at his flat. He didn't like Alex lying to him, but he wasn't mean enough to push the point and let him be if he didn't want to talk about it. Perhaps he should've been more insistent, he was meant to be his master, after all, but he didn't have the heart to nag him about it.  
  
Sleeping together had taken a bit of adjustment. Alex spent the first few nights nervous about getting him upset, or getting in the way, saying he didn't belong there, that he hadn't earned it. Greg had to reassure him that he was fine, that he was allowed there, and he held him close, just to reinforce the message that he wanted him sharing his bed with him. He felt this was particularly important to do since Alex had made him a bed that fit him; he wanted Alex to enjoy sleeping there too, since he'd put so much work into it. Alex still got up early to make his breakfast and wake him up with little kisses, but Greg wasn't going to stop him if he felt that was something important he needed to do for him. Much as he enjoyed ordering Alex around, he also recognised that for Alex, serving him was his way of expressing his love for him, and sometimes, it was about letting Alex serve him and take care of him, just because he wanted to, not because he'd been ordered to. It was a subtle distinction, but one Greg had grown to appreciate.   
  
Living with him like this had exposed their quirks and routines to each other in a way they hadn't quite been visible before. If they hadn't spent so many nights together anyway, it might've taken longer to adjust to them, but part of what made them work so well together was how their lives just fit together so perfectly, as if they were made for each other. It wasn't quite the level of finishing each other's sentences, at least not yet, but there was certainly a level of being on the same wavelength, and having their routines just fit effortlessly together without them even trying very much. It was one of the first things Greg had noticed when Alex had first started doing little jobs for him, that Alex fit in to his life as if he was meant to be there, even though he hadn't felt there was an Alex-shaped hole missing from his life to begin with.   
  
But that hadn't been the biggest change. Finding out he was descended from ancient Welsh kings had been the biggest surprise, and even though a lot of other people were obviously still descended from those kings, that wasn't the point. They probably weren't being plagued with dreams the way he was. Because it was only after that episode of _Who Do You Think You Are?_ that the same dream returned with an intensity he had not expected to ever experience from dreams that were definitely not nightmares. The dreams still didn't make any more sense, but the calling felt much more urgent now, and he could feel it in his body, as if there was some sort of blood connection now that had been awoken, and it was the strangest sensation he just could not describe. Being king felt strangely inevitable in a way he really wasn't comfortable with, even though he sometimes joked about it, because who wouldn't want to be king, right? The Taskmaster might not mind being king, but he had his reservations. The show had brought out a vindictive side to him that he wasn't sure he wanted to encourage. It was one thing to play the tyrant, and another to actually be one, punishing anyone who pissed him off along the way. Much as he enjoyed playing it, he wasn't sure living it was really a wise idea.   
  
There was still a part of him that resisted it all, that felt that he was clearly just making all this up based on his own ridiculous ego. This was just a fiction, a fantasy. This sort of thing only happened in novels or movies. It never happened in real life. Some man, a comedian at that, with ancient royal blood wasn't just called to be a king again, and re-establish the kingdom of the country of his ancestors, in real life. That wasn't how life worked. Dreams didn't work like that. Dragons weren't real. None of this was real. It was all just some batshit fantasy in his head that meant nothing.   
  
So, no, Greg hadn't gone back to the mountain, even though Alex kept begging him to go. Because Alex was still dreaming, too. He'd told Greg about them, about the messages that he'd been given, and Greg just ignored them because why mess things up when the show was going so well? Why mess up his life with dragons and kings and ancient callings when life was just so good now? Sharing dreams would not convince him to go, Greg was quite sure of that. They'd need to try much harder to make him believe any of this was real.  
  
And it wasn't as if he wasn't open to these kind of things either. He'd always felt there had to be something out there beyond the real world, but never quite been able to grasp it. The idea that his ancestors - his father, even - could be reaching out to him in his dreams from some kind of afterlife to get his attention felt like the best kind of wish fulfilment, but also a pointless kind of dream, because what could he possibly do with any of that information? How could he trust that he wasn't just talking to himself? Did wanting something to be real enough make it real? Or was that just delusion? What if he just ended up with some grand sort of egotistical nightmare, where he just felt he had been called to be king, and no one believed him, and he just ended up looking like a fool instead?   
  
But thoughts of dragons and kings left as Alex returned, carrying his breakfast on a tray. There was a single red rose in a vase, too, and Greg guessed there was probably a card waiting for him. Alex still didn't know Greg had kept all his Valentine's cards because Greg had forbidden him from touching his nightstand, which was where they were kept, along with his collar, and Alex obediently never went near it. But it would be hard to just simply throw this one out today. Alex was there, and he would be with him the rest of the day too. The fact that he recognised the reluctance in him to actually throw this card out bothered him a little, because he was definitely not falling in love with him, no matter how much he wanted to. But the fiction might break today, and Alex might find out that Greg had kept all his cards anyway, and Greg wasn't sure he was ready for that conversation.   
  
"So what'd you make me today, Alex?" Greg said as Alex handed him the tray and then knelt beside the bed.  
  
"Oh, just, I found some nice sausages, sir, and I thought you might like those. It's nothing special, there was no time for the things I really wanted to do for you today, but I couldn't not make you something special today. I love you very much, sir, and I know we can't be together, you won't let that happen, but every day, I'm just so grateful I get to make this show with you, and that you've let me into your life so much, and I don't know if you realise how much I love you for that alone. We'll have five series by the end of the year, Greg. Five! Isn't that incredible? We made this together, and I couldn't be happier, sir," Alex said.  
  
Greg leaned over and kissed his head. "It's been a wild ride, that's for sure, and I don't regret any of it, Alex. Come on, sit up here with me. Did you make any breakfast for yourself? Or have you already eaten?"  
  
"Oh, I always eat before you, sir, then I don't hold you up in the morning when I'm taking care of you. But I don't mind joining you, if you're happy to have me with you," Alex said.  
  
"Of course I'm not going to get in the way of your routines, but you don't have to do this every morning you're here, Alex. I don't mind if you want to just bring us both breakfast and we can eat together if we've got nothing else to do that morning. You are allowed to be here, you're allowed to be in my bed. Why wouldn't I want to cuddle you over breakfast, hey? I like cuddling you, Alex, I like having you close to me. Come on, just come and cuddle me, I want to be close to you today," Greg said.  
  
Alex almost went to protest - Greg could see it in his eyes - but changed his mind and went around to climb into bed beside him, taking a moment to take off his slippers before he got in, being careful not to disturb his master's breakfast. He kept looking to Greg for reassurance, as if he was half afraid Greg might change his mind and kick him out, but Greg wasn't going to do that. He encouraged Alex to cuddle up next to him and brought an arm around him as he pressed a soft kiss to his temple.   
  
"There we go, that's how I want you this morning, right here next to me where you belong," Greg said.   
  
Alex smiled shyly, but Greg could tell he didn't want to leave his side. Alex was incredibly attached to him, and Greg could feel it in the way he held on to him and leant his head against his shoulder.   
  
"Thank you, sir," Alex said.  
  
"Thank you for my breakfast, Alex, it looks lovely," Greg said.   
  
"Oh, it's nothing, I just - I do my very best to please you, sir," Alex said. "And - sir, a card - I didn't - but today is-"  
  
"Are you trying to say you got me another Valentine's card, Alex? That's very sweet of you if you have," Greg said.  
  
"Yes, sir, I just-" Alex reached into his jacket pocket and took out the card, in a pink envelope with sparkly gold hearts all over it this time. "It's nothing, I mean, I just-"  
  
Greg took it from him and opened it, appreciating the gesture even though he had nothing to give him in return. Perhaps he'd take him out for dinner later, once they were done with this series, just as a way to say thank you. "I might not have wanted to encourage the cards, but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate them. I didn't want to like them at first, but it's just your way of showing me you care, and I can't hate you for that. Thank you, Alex."  
  
Alex had obviously chosen his words very carefully, particularly after last year's very epic gift that Greg wasn't sure would be beaten for a very long time. It had been a wonderful day, and he had come to realise he definitely was in love with him, but it just couldn't overwhelm the anxious part of his mind that was certain it was a bad idea to get together with him, so he'd shut all his feelings away. And now, Alex's little note was threatening to bring it all back again, and he didn't want that. They couldn't be in love. They couldn't have a relationship. Even though everything about their relationship would have read as a romantic relationship by anyone looking in on them, that didn't matter. Greg wouldn't give in to him, even though he almost did this time.   
  
"You really are the sweetest boy, Alex, thank you. Perhaps I'll keep this for a day or two before I throw it out, just to show you I care," Greg joked, throwing up all his defences against his heart as he thought of how he might find the right time to hide that card away with all the others.   
  
"You're not going soft on me, are you, sir? Are you actually becoming fond of me?" Alex said, daring to joke along with him.  
  
"Of course, I'm very fond of you, Alex, I don't know why you need to ask that," Greg said.  
  
"Oh, I just - it's nothing," Alex said.  
  
Greg decided not to push the matter. There wasn't time for a lengthy discussion of their relationship anyway, and his sausages were getting cold. So he let Alex cuddle up to him as he ate, and perhaps he managed to coax Alex into a less subservient discussion about the day ahead, just to break the silence. Greg wasn't in a mood to sit in the quiet this morning.   
  
There was a very strong temptation to at least have a quick fuck before they got on with the day, but Greg wanted to wait. It would be better tonight once everything was done, and they could just lie in bed and take as long as they liked. Instead, they showered together, if only to have at least one small moment of intimacy before they had to go. Greg just enjoyed kissing him, and Alex washed him, and it was a lovely moment of peace in what was going to be a long day.   
  
By the time they got home later, they were both tired, but things had gone really well, and Greg might have spent the entire time heading up to his flat giving Alex furtive little kisses, just because he could. He was in a really good mood, and he had just enough energy left to want to indulge in some late night sex with Alex before they collapsed into bed for another night.   
  
It was one of those nights where Greg decided he just couldn't wait. As soon as they were in, he'd shoved Alex against the door and kissed him hard, his hands tugging at his shirt. Alex was keen, too, and he made these adorable little gasps as Greg roughly undressed him. That Alex enjoyed rough sex had been not much of a surprise, given how much he loved pain, but it had made for some hot urgent sex in secluded spaces that Greg still thought of fondly.   
  
"How hard do you want it, boy? How many bruises can I leave on you tonight?" Greg growled in his ear.   
  
Alex shivered, Greg could feel it. "O-oh, God, oh, you know - I just-"  
  
Greg bit his neck, gently, realising he probably didn't want to leave a bruise in a place that would be too visible. Those kind of bruises had to be left until all the studio recordings were done, when it didn't matter if he bruised Alex up so good.   
  
"I'm so hungry for you, Alex," Greg said, holding him close. "What do you want tonight? I'll do whatever you want, my treat, because it's Valentine's Day."  
  
"Really?" Alex broke away from his kisses to look at him, surprised by his words.   
  
"Maybe it's not a proper gift, but we'll fuck how you want tonight," Greg said.  
  
"I just want to hurt, Greg, give me all the pain, I want to feel that rush tonight before I fall asleep in your arms," Alex said.  
  
Greg could hear the longing in his voice. It had been a while since he'd hurt him, that's for sure, so he wasn't surprised that's what he was asking for. "How do you want me to hurt you tonight?"  
  
Alex clung to him then, and leaned up to whisper in his ear. "I just - make me hurt _everywhere_ , sir. Please. I _need_ this tonight, please, sir, I'm desperate. I need the catharsis, it's been too long, I can't stand it any longer."  
  
"Just physical pain tonight, then?" Greg said.  
  
Alex nodded. "Yes, please, sir. I don't care how. Hit me. Spank me. Paddle me. Bruise me. I don't care. I just need to hurt tonight."  
  
"Alright, then. Go on, go get your ropes out. I've got an idea," Greg said.  
  
Alex scampered out to get his ropes and Greg headed into his bedroom to think. He hadn't had to hurt Alex all over his body before. That wasn't usually his thing. It was usually just spanking and paddling his butt, that was all he did. At least, that's all Alex had ever asked for. If he'd been more prepared, he might have grabbed some floggers so he could at the very least whip the rest of his body, but that wasn't going to happen. Belts were out of the question, too. Alex didn't like them. They just didn't do it for him, he said the pain wasn't the kind of pain he got off on. So how else could he hurt him the way he wanted to be hurt and still give him that release?  
  
He was acutely aware that he couldn't hurt him too much, either. He didn't want to have Alex so sore he couldn't move tomorrow. They had too much left to do for him to hurt Alex that badly. He was interrupted by Alex returning with his ropes, and Greg noticed he had a flogger in his hand. He must have been hoping he'd get a chance to ask for pain tonight if he'd gone to the trouble of bringing it with him.   
  
"I didn't know you had a flogger, Alex, is that what you want tonight?" Greg said.  
  
Alex knelt before him and presented the flogger to him with his hands. "Yes, please, sir, it belongs to her, but she let me borrow it. It's very soft and quiet, that's why, but it still stings very nicely. If, sir, if you could please just tie me up and flog me with this all night, that would be wonderful, sir."  
  
"I mean, it's been a long time since I used a flogger, but sure, we can do that. Show me how you want to be tied, and how hard to hit you, and we'll go from there," Greg said.  
  
"Yes, sir, of course," Alex said.  
  
It took a bit of fiddling to get Alex tied up just the way he wanted to be tied. He hadn't just wanted hands and feet, he'd wanted to feel bound, restrained, and immobile. Helpless to escape the pain, and forced to endure it, that was how Alex liked it best. Greg decided on just tying him to his bed, because he felt it would soften his blows enough to not bruise him or make him too sore. And anyway, he wasn't being punished, so there was no point in using the bench. Alex would've gone off at him if he'd suggested it, because Alex had quite strict ideas about only using punishment benches for punishment, otherwise it ruined his mindset. Greg wasn't willing to complain because if it helped Alex, he was willing to go along with it.   
  
They tested out the flogger a few times before Alex was bound, if only so Greg could remind himself of how to flog him properly, and to get a sense of how hard Alex wanted to be hit. Floggers could be incredibly soft, or they could be incredibly hard and stingy, and it was a very different kind of pain to spanking or paddling, which Greg was much more used to giving him. Greg only tied up Alex once he was sure he could do it right, once they'd figured out how it was going to go, and where Alex liked being hit with it, and where he needed to avoid.   
  
Alex had cleverly added in some rings to the bed when he'd made it so that he could be tied up properly, which Greg did appreciate. They tucked away neatly under the frame, so you'd never know they were there. Greg took his time tying him up, because he was aware that he didn't want to just use the rope all over his body because the flogger would aggravate that too much. He needed bare skin to give Alex the kind of pain he was really after. He also decided to use cuffs, against Alex's desire to just have his wrists and ankles bound with rope. No bruises, no rope burns, no marks, not tonight, Greg was quite firm on this. Alex did accept it, but he wasn't happy about it. Greg promised to give him a proper flogging later, once they were done recording this series, and it didn't matter so much if he left bruises all over him.   
  
And then, when they were prepared and ready, Greg began the flogging. Alex lay very still and quiet, but Greg knew it was out of desire, not fear. He'd propped his chest up under some pillows to make sure he didn't end up suffocating, but mostly, Alex was still and quiet, except for the little noises Greg could hear that were so full of yearning relief every time Greg hit his back. Alex really had needed to be hurt tonight if he was that keen on it. Greg still didn't quite understand why he loved pain so much, but he did, and it was something he needed regularly to keep him sane. Normally, this was just a long hard spanking, but flogging, that was new.  
  
The last thing Alex had asked for before they'd begun was a cock ring, which Greg thought was a little superfluous, but apparently he really just wanted all the pain tonight. He'd asked for a flogging, and then a spanking, and then he wanted Greg to just fuck him as hard as he could while he lay there bound and helpless. Greg was honestly fine with that, because he was definitely going to finish the night sucking Alex off just to give him one last wave of pain before bed.   
  
Alex's skin slowly turned red as he flogged him, and Greg found he quite liked that. He'd stop every now and then to gently caress his hot skin, maybe pinch him a bit, or just touch him to calm him between strokes. He was aware they didn't have a lot of time to fuck around, but he still wanted to do the best job he could for him, since he'd asked for it. He'd decided to do the spanking at the same time, giving him a combination of pain that made Alex whimper. Greg had never seen Alex so needy for pain before, and he had to stop himself from going too far. This wasn't a night where he could tie him up and gently flog him into a trance all night long, much as he loved that idea very much. This had to be short, sharp, and fast.   
  
They'd agreed on a level of pain to reach before Greg would stop and begin the sex, much as Alex hated having to be restricted like that. But it was that, or nothing at all, and Alex was willing to take whatever he could get. Alex knew his pain levels better than Greg did, and he'd given Alex a safeword to use to signal when he'd reached that point. It did take a while, but Greg was using the flogger perhaps harder than he might have if he'd had more time, doing his best to build the pain fast, but in a way that Alex could handle.   
  
When Alex was ready, Greg began prepping him for sex. Playing with his butt, and giving a few more spanks, gave him time to get hard enough first, and, well, just because Alex didn't need much prep anymore didn't mean Greg didn't want to play with his butt. He just loved the way Alex squirmed as he slipped his fingers inside him, teasing him, and then giving him sharp little spanks to keep the pain going. And when Greg was ready, he pushed in so slowly Alex actually cried out with need.   
  
Greg lay over him, pinning his arms down hard, even though he really couldn't move anyway. Greg almost wanted to just untie him and fuck him as rough as he could, but that was for a day when they didn't have to be on camera the next day. Alex would need time to be rubbed down and massaged after all of this, just to make sure he wasn't going to be too sore in the morning, which was half the reason Greg decided against a slow, agonising fuck and just went at it, as much as Alex was used to from him, and focused on that.   
  
There was no talking. There was no sound except for Alex's desperate breathing, Greg's cries of pleasure, and their thighs slapping together. If Alex had wanted humiliation, Greg might've slapped him round a bit and spat insults at him, but he hadn't. Alex just wanted his body to hurt tonight. It wasn't the most magnificent fuck they'd ever had, but it didn't need to be, and Alex was still rock hard and needy as Greg untied him and propped him up on his hands and knees as he lay beneath him and swallowed his cock, giving his arse a spank just to hurry him along. Not that Alex needed much encouragement. He didn't last long once Greg had his cock in his mouth, and Greg held onto his ankles to keep him him place as he came hard, crying, tears running down his cheeks, as the pain flooded through him with his orgasm.   
  
"Was that enough pain for you tonight, Alex?" Greg said a little later after they'd cleaned up as he pulled Alex into his arms for a cuddle.   
  
Alex gazed up at him and smiled, looking exhausted but happy. "Yes, sir, that was perfect. I feel much better now."  
  
"That's good. I was hoping it would soothe you for the moment until I can flog you properly later. I didn't realise you craved it so much. Why'd you never say anything about it?" Greg said.  
  
Alex shrugged against him. "I don't know, sir, I just had this desperate need to hurt, sir, I don't know why. And you did such a good job with the flogger, sir, thank you."   
  
"Always a pleasure, Alex. You honestly look like you're about to fall asleep. Do you need anything else before I put you to bed?" Greg said.  
  
Alex yawned in spite of himself. "Shower, maybe, then bed, I think. But I feel much better. And I get to fall asleep in your arms, sir, that will be enough for tonight."  
  
"You don't need a rub down then? Not feeling too achey or sore?" Greg asked.  
  
Alex thought a moment. "Maybe. Maybe not. I don't know. I don't really need them after floggings, they're a different kind of pain. But you can rub me down if you like, I won't mind."  
  
"Alright, come on, then, let's get you showered and into bed. There's no point in waiting now, is there?" Greg said.  
  
Greg pushed him up and led him to the bathroom to shower. There were a few more sleepy kisses there, but it wasn't the time for lingering intimacy. Greg washed him down, and gave his shoulders a bit of a massage because they felt a little tense. When they got back to bed, Greg made him lie down and massaged him again, just to make sure he wouldn't be sore tomorrow. Then, a little food to calm them both down, and cuddles as they settled down to sleep in each other's arms.   
  
"Alex?"  
  
"Yes, sir?"   
  
"Thank you for today. I know it wasn't much, but I enjoyed it. I hope you enjoyed yourself too."  
  
"I did, sir, thank you. Good night, sir."  
  
"Good night, Alex."


	6. Late December, 2017: Not Your Kind Of People

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy what might end up being the last thing I post this year. I was planning to post this on Christmas Day, but I decided on Christmas Eve that I hated everything I'd written for the original draft of this chapter, and decided to rewrite it entirely from scratch, and I think this is a much better ending, even if it didn't get posted on time like I'd originally planned. 
> 
> Lyrics for the final chapter: [Garbage - Not Your Kind Of People](http://lyrics.wikia.com/wiki/Garbage:Not_Your_Kind_Of_People)

It wasn't often they stumbled back to Greg's flat in each other's arms, having had at least one too many before they'd got there, but that's what happened tonight. There was no reason for it, except perhaps a need to just spend the night together before Christmas took them away from each other again.   
  
Alex was being surprisingly bold, and Greg found himself pushed into every corner they came to and kissed, and for once, Greg wasn't afraid of being caught. He didn't care. He'd had boyfriends here before. This was not an unusual sight. It was unusual for him to be kissing the man he hosted a show with, but that didn't bother him, either. Alex was just there, kissing him, and Greg held him close and they somehow managed to get to his flat without falling over.   
  
Hidden from view now, there was another long, messy pash by the door before Alex seemed to come to his senses and pulled away, laughing.   
  
"What's so funny?" Greg said, unable to resist laughing along with him.   
  
"Just - all of it, really. It's been a lovely night, Greg. I've missed just spending time with you," Alex said.  
  
"Do we need to do this more often, then? Because I am down for that, Alex, if you are," Greg said.  
  
"Definitely. I mean, I like being your boy, but I've enjoyed all the new things we've done this year. I mean, you've taken me out! To a show! And there's been plenty of dinners, too! Why, Greg, I'd almost accuse you of taking me on dates, sir! Dates!" Alex said, in a mocking tone.  
  
Greg pretended to look shocked, but Alex's face was making him laugh, and he couldn't keep serious about it. "Dates! Oh, the fucking horror, Alex! Why, that would mean you were my _boyfriend_ , Alex! Since when are you my _boyfriend_?"  
  
"Since you started taking me on dates, Greg! And yes, they're dates! You love me, you big ol' - ol' ... _softie_! You, sir, you are taking me on dates, and you should just admit you love me, so we can just be happy together, yes, definitely," Alex said, prodding Greg in the chest.  
  
Greg scooped him up into his arms in response and carried him over to the sofa to tackle him into a cuddle as they lay down together. "Dates, you say? Dates? No, no, you're totally mistaken, they're not dates, not even when I hold your hand and kiss you in the dark at the back of the cinema, or gaze into your beautiful fucking eyes over a lovely meal, Jesus, Alex, they are definitely not dates, you can't make me admit they're dates, even if they are, or might be, or might not be, or fuck it, whatever they are," Greg said, cuddling him close.  
  
Alex laughed, and wriggled and tried to get away from him. Greg ended up on his back and Alex lay on top of him, gazing into his eyes. "I mean, I don't mind if we date. It'd be nice to date? Wouldn't it? I mean, we've got so much closer this year, I know we have. I can feel it. You've changed your mind. I knew that giant bed would work its way into your heart, darling. You can't help loving me, not now, I made you a giant bed, Greg, so admit you like taking me on dates."   
  
Greg laughed. He wanted to keep pretending to be offended, but he was right. They were 100% absolutely dates, no question about that. He had felt the shift in their relationship himself, but he was still anxious about calling them a couple. That would mean admitting he loved him, and he wasn't ready to do that yet, was he? Maybe he was.  
  
"Alright, alright, so what if they're dates? Friends date, don't they? Besides you don't want me confessing my love now, I mean, that's for some proper romantic thingo, not like, being drunk on my sofa far too late at night, you fucker. For such a fucking awful romantic, you're really good at spoiling the mood," Greg said.  
  
Alex smiled and stroked a finger down his cheek. "But this is the perfect time, you're not going to do it when you're sober, are you?"  
  
"No, no, absolutely not, you're not getting a love confession out of me, no matter how drunk you get me," Greg said, standing firm.   
  
"Is that a challenge, Greg? Do we need another drink or three, just to see how easily you'll crack?" Alex said.  
  
"Oh, you little- Fine. Get us some drinks. You'll see, you'll never get a confession out of me. My lips are sealed!" Greg said.  
  
Alex got off him and went to find some more alcohol. Greg sat up and took his coat off, and wondered if this would actually work. He did confess to some really stupid things when he was drunk and happy, which Roisin had often reminded him of. But he was feeling really good tonight. And in spite of their giggles, they weren't really all that drunk yet. At least, he didn't feel drunk yet. Alex was making him laugh, and for once, he didn't even mind the argument about whether or not they were dating. They probably were, probably, if Greg was being really, properly honest with himself. But then he knew he loved him, really loved him, he was just too chicken shit to admit it. Now all he had to do was not let himself get drunk enough to confess and he'd be fine. He could put off this conversation until the new year.   
  
"I thought this might loosen your tongue, Lord Davies," Alex said, also sans coat, as he returned with a bottle of whisky and two glasses.   
  
"What is this, a fucking interrogation? You really are trying to get me pissed, aren't you? Jesus Christ," Greg said. "Well, go on, then, do your worst, little Alex Horne."   
  
Alex poured the first round, and perhaps, out of spite or out of their highly competitive natures, they both drank them in one go, which would definitely come back to haunt them as the night progressed. But then Greg took Alex's face in his hands and kissed him, and maybe they just lay back and kissed on the sofa for at least half an hour, for no other reason than they were too tired to get up, and didn't want to be apart just yet.   
  
That they were able to remain simply kissing, and not quickly resort to sex did suggest something had changed in Greg, because normally Alex never got this kind of attention at all, and he was well aware of how unusual it was. When he was finally able to break away from him for a second, he looked at Greg and searched his eyes.   
  
"What's going on? You haven't had sex with me yet. You haven't even tried to slip your hand down my trousers. Are you feeling alright, Greg? Because I almost miss it, with you spending so long just mauling me," Alex said.  
  
"What? Aren't I allowed to just kiss you now? What kind of a master do you take me for who doesn't want to just indulge in my boy like this?" Greg said, only pretending to be annoyed.   
  
"But you never just kiss me Greg, not like this. I think you love me, and you just want to be with me, you don't just want to have sex with me and leave me to sleep or you'd have done so by now," Alex teased.   
  
"Lies, all lies!" Greg protested, even though they were 100% definitely not lies at all. He still did want to fuck him, but he also just wanted to kiss him and touch him and just drunkenly lie here for hours in his arms because they could.   
  
"Aha! So I'm right then? You do love me, Greg, just admit it!" Alex said, triumphantly.   
  
Greg shook his head. "Absolutely not. I'm always right, and you're always wrong, that's how it works, isn't it? I'm your master, and I'm always right."   
  
"Then tell me why you haven't even tried to have sex with me yet, and don't say you're not interested, because I know you are. You can't hide that from me, at any rate," Alex said.  
  
"Why can't you just accept that I'm being kind to you tonight? Do you want me to just shove you against a wall and fuck you until you're bruised? Do you really want me to just fuck you up like that? I mean, I know you like pain, but you're the fucking romantic one here, I'd have thought you'd be all over spending hours in my arms, not the one begging for a fuck. Isn't this all you've ever wanted from me? Why are you complaining now? You're being a right little brat, Alex, and I'm not happy about it," Greg said.  
  
Before Alex could respond, Greg playfully grabbed Alex and pulled him up, pressing him over the back of the sofa as if he was about to fuck him. It was a bit clumsy, and they weren't really prepared for it, and Alex struggled as much as he laughed as Greg attempted to get his trousers down.   
  
"Fuck, this is what you want, isn't it? A quick fuck, then send you off to your fucking little bed to sleep like the pathetic dog that you are? What the fuck is wrong with you that you can't accept me being nice to you? Huh? Cos I can just fuck you stupid and send you to bed if that's what you really want, Alex, because then I'll win, and you'll never get the confession you're looking for tonight, you prick," Greg said, gleefully.   
  
Alex steadied himself against the wall for a moment as he felt Greg fumble with his belt. "I-n-no, sir, please, you don't have to, I was just-" And then he laughed in spite of himself, because Greg's fingers were being far too clumsy and ticklish as he tried to get his trousers down, and Alex was certain that he was not going to manage subspace tonight, definitely not. He was far too drunk now to be submissive, which he felt was an achievement.  
  
"Oh, you don't want a fuck after all? Then why the fuck did you bring it up? Jesus, Alex, what the fuck is wrong with you?" Greg said, though he really wasn't angry at him.  
  
Greg let him go, because he hadn't really planned to fuck him right at that moment, and pulled him down into a cuddle, stroking his head softly, reassuring him that they were just playing. Alex clung to him, gazing off into the distance. Silence settled for a while. Alex didn't even care that his belt was undone, and his fly was half-down; that Greg then didn't take advantage of that surprised him, but he didn't mention it.   
  
"We're a bit messed up, aren't we?" Greg said, breaking the stillness.   
  
"Only because you won't accept what we really are, when it's clear that we're a couple. Maybe it took us a while to get there, but you'll be a lot happier if you just let yourself love me, Greg. Love isn't meant to be scary, sir. It's meant to make you strong, like nothing can touch you. Stronger together, that kind of thing. Why are you so scared to love me?" Alex said.  
  
"Oh, I don't think I'm drunk enough for that kind of question, Alex," Greg said.  
  
Alex sat up, and poured them both another drink, before he curled up next to him again, his glass resting on his knee. "I mean, I'm always going to be waiting for you. I'll always be here, no matter how long it takes, sir. The only barriers that exist are the ones you've put up yourself. Sure, it'll be unconventional, but when have you ever been conventional, sir? You're not normal And you delight in that, so why so much fear about this?"   
  
"That, my friend, is a long, complicated story that you don't need to hear. Not because I don't want to tell it, but because it won't fix anything. It won't help. It'll just fill your brain with all the bullshit that's in mine, and you don't need to carry my burdens for me," Greg said.  
  
"No, but I can help share the load, that's the point of a couple, isn't it? I can help. You don't have to do this alone. You don't have to be alone. Maybe you gave up on love because you couldn't see that it's sitting right here beside you, where I belong. You said that so early on, but you believe it, don't you? That I'm meant to be here? This is where I belong. And maybe it's hard for you to process someone loving two people in the same way, but that doesn't mean my feelings aren't real. I don't fall in love easily, but when I do, it's this kind of love. It overwhelms me. I feel about you the same way I felt when I met my wife. It's the same kind of love. You're meant to be with me, you feel it too, don't you? Hasn't life just been better since we've been together?" Alex said.  
  
Greg had to smile at that as he took a sip of his drink, because Alex was right. Things had been better since he'd been in his life. Alex was right next to him where he belonged, and perhaps he'd first meant that as a put down, like it was meant to mean his inferior place beside him on his little pathetic throne of fake importance, but even he'd noticed the sweetness he'd thrown into that line and the way Alex looked at him afterwards as they were doing the edit, and how perhaps that meant more than he actually realised at the time when he'd said it.   
  
"Just- sir, I don't care about labels. I don't care what you want to call us, or how you want to identify. I don't care about that. I just care about you, and me, and our relationship. We were at school at the same time, Greg. You weren't the only one who suffered because of Section 28. Don't think I don't know what it was like and what it cost me to hide. You don't have to call yourself bisexual, you don't have to like the word 'queer', you don't have to understand polyamoury, I don't care about any of that. I just care about you. I love you. And I want you to be part of my family. There'll always be a place for you when you're ready to take it. I'd love to bring you home for Christmas as my partner, and not just my master. There'd be a stocking for you, and presents, and you'd have so much fun with my kids. Maybe one day that'll happen," Alex said.  
  
"Is there a difference when I'm your partner? I didn't know that. You never said anything about that when we first got together," Greg said. He was most definitely ignoring the rest of what Alex had said because he definitely did not want to talk about that.  
  
"You didn't ask, to be fair, and I never thought you'd ever want to be my partner, so I never mentioned it. But we'd be proper boyfriends then, and not just ... Whatever we are now. It's how we differentiate people we just have sex with and people we've fallen in love with. Partners are the ones we've fallen in love with, they're family, but I - I've never had one before. My wife's had a few though over the years," Alex said.  
  
"Isn't your wife Catholic? And don't her parents live with you? How the fuck do you get away with that?" Greg said.  
  
Alex took a sip of whisky before he replied. "We're very careful, but we also pick good people. Like, we're really not smutty about it, you know? Because it's not about the sex, not at home, anyway. And she gets different things from them than she gets from me, and that's alright. I don't mind. There's one woman I miss very much, because she had to move away, but she used to pray with her, and she fulfilled her in ways I never could, because I'm not religious, but I didn't want to take that bond away from her. She filled our house with so much love. She was very special. But then I love watching her fall in love, it's just so beautiful to see how she just lights up with so much joy. It makes our marriage so much stronger because we don't have to be everything to each other, and that's alright. I know she's getting everything she needs to be happy, and that makes me happy too. Maybe that's hard for you to understand, but it's like your boys, Greg, they're all different, aren't they? You do different things with them, but that doesn't mean they're unequal. You love them all the same, I know you do. That's how it is with us."   
  
Greg hadn't thought about his boys that way before, and if truth be told, Alex had never really brought them up, either. They were just Greg's business, not his, and Alex never got in the way. Sometimes, sure, he got them all involved with each other, or sometimes just one or two came over to play, but they were all separate relationships, and he loved them all like family, as if they were the children he was never going to have. Maybe he did understand how someone could love more than one person at a time, and maybe Alex was right, that it was easier to do it this way than try to be everything to someone if all that was going to end up doing was make things harder. There was a part of him that really couldn't bear the thought of only having one boy now. He needed them all. He loved them all. And perhaps, for Alex and his wife, they needed their lovers too just like he needed his boys. Perhaps he and his boys really were so much closer to family than he'd ever realised.   
  
"I wish you'd explained it like that earlier, I wouldn't have fought it for so long. Because I get that now. I'd never thought of my boys like that, but you're right, that's exactly how they work for me." Greg paused for a moment. "Maybe I really am gay because I've never wanted those kinds of relationships with women."  
  
"No, no, that's not necessarily true. That's not how it works. Your relationships with women aren't less valid, loving, or real because they aren't like the ones you have with your boys. There are so many different ways to have intimate relationships, Greg, my wife taught me that. Intimacy isn't just sex. Sometimes, the most intimate relationships are with your closest friends, or they exist on a more spiritual level. They don't have to be submissives, either, Greg, I think you sometimes forget that. Like, you and Roisin, it's different, but you still need her in your life, yeah?" Alex said.  
  
Greg smiled, thinking of her. "Yeah, yeah, I do. I really love that girl."  
  
"And you wouldn't say that you weren't in love with your girlfriends when you were dating them, would you?" Alex said.  
  
"No, no, I wouldn't," Greg said.  
  
"You just need different things from them, that's all, and that's fine. Your boys give you things you can't get from women, and women give you things you can't get from your boys. You're still bisexual. It's okay to want them both for different reasons. I know that's hard for you to process, and I won't force you to change your mind, but you're not wrong. You exist. Your relationships are all valid and real and meaningful to you, no matter who they're with. I'm still bisexual even though I married a woman. You're still bisexual even though your relationships are primarily with men. Maybe you were never going to settle down with a wife and kids like me, but that's not the only way to find happiness. You found it with your boys, and that's all that matters," Alex said.  
  
Greg held him close then and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I found it with you too, Alex."  
  
"I know you did, Greg. I'll be here whenever you're ready. I'm not going anywhere," Alex said.  
  
Greg drained the rest of his glass and set it on the table before he pulled Alex into a kiss, just suddenly needing to be with him and touch him and love him again. He had no idea how Alex was able to be so articulate about the shit in his head and argue so well against it, but he wasn't going to stop him.   
  
He could tell, in the pit of his stomach, that Alex was definitely going to get a confession out of him if he kept this up. Alex had a way of talking to him about his sexuality that not just challenged him and made him rethink what he thought, but was gentle enough that he let Greg come to his own conclusions without pressuring him. It was an approach he needed because Alex never managed to trip over any of his wounds; he let Greg navigate those himself in his own way. He hadn't fixed his hang-ups, but he didn't want him to. That wasn't Alex's job. But he did help him find ways through that made him feel better about himself.  
  
Perhaps they cuddled for a while after that, and maybe Greg just talked shit to him and told him ridiculous stories, just to fill the gap, because he needed to think, and the whisky was really beginning to hit him now, and he could tell it was kicking in with Alex too. He just didn't feel like moving, not for a while at least. He was surprised at how he still hadn't really touched him. They'd kissed, and their hands had wandered, and they both definitely wanted to have sex - Alex had made that very clear on their way here, but they were both still fully clothed, and he might have looked down at that moment to see Alex falling asleep next to him.   
  
"Come on, Alex, don't you fall asleep on me now, it's still early," Greg said, nudging him gently.   
  
Alex opened his eyes and sat up, still looking sleepy. "You're just so warm and cuddly, Greg, I couldn't help it."  
  
"Come on, get up, grab your coat, I think we need to stretch our legs or we'll be asleep before I've had a chance to fuck you, and you'd hate that, wouldn't you?" Greg said.  
  
"Oh, I would, I'm not missing out on that, not when you're being so kind to me," Alex said. "Why do I need my coat? Are we going out again? Isn't it a bit late for that?"  
  
"Balcony, idiot. I need a smoke, and anyway, you need some cold air to wake you up," Greg said.  
  
"Oh, right, yes, of course," Alex said, suddenly awake.   
  
It was cold outside, now that they were out here. Perhaps too cold, but if Alex wanted to go inside, he didn't say anything. For once, it felt peaceful out here, as if the world had shut itself out for their benefit. They didn't talk; Greg smoked, and Alex sipped his drink, and perhaps, cautiously, reached for Greg's hand, almost but not quite taking hold of it, but needing to know he was there as they stood leaning against the wall.  
  
"I'm still having those dreams, you know," Greg said, as if now was precisely the right moment to bring that up again.  
  
"I know, I've been dreaming too. They're getting more urgent now, which concerns me. Do you still think they're just dreams?" Alex said.  
  
"I don't know what to think about them anymore," Greg said. "I mean, why choose us to be rulers? Why the fuck would you choose us? We're comedians, for fuck's sake. What on earth would we know about being rulers?"   
  
"Well, surely we can't do as badly as the current lot," Alex said.  
  
"That's not bolstering my confidence, Alex," Greg said. "But point taken."  
  
"I did wonder - I hope I'm not overstepping things, sir - perhaps we were chosen because we're queer, sir. That we're different enough, and understand oppression enough, to not go mad with power like someone else might. We care about people. We care about justice. Maybe that's why," Alex said.  
  
Greg took a deep breath as he thought about that. It did make sense, if only as the only explanation that made sense. But he didn't like being chosen for his sexuality, that it somehow was defining enough of who he was that he would rule properly and kindly because of that. Being queer - God, he really hated that word - didn't mean you were a good person. He'd had plenty of shit from gay men over the years enough to know they weren't all sunshine and fucking oppression roses. Some men were just pricks. Some men were bullies. Some men just wanted to beat the shit out of you because Heaven forbid you'd slept with a woman - or a man - last week, Jesus Christ. He knew ostracision from both sides, and he didn't think that would make him a better leader. He had discovered a nasty vindictive streak in him, thanks to Taskmaster, and he wasn't sure being given a crown and uncontrolled power would result in him just being a nice king because some ancestors asked nicely. He was sure he would just turn into a tyrant, bullying those who'd bullied him. He couldn't fear authority when he himself was the only authority who mattered. He didn't want to know what he'd do with that kind of power. Nothing good, most likely.   
  
"I think I liked it better when being king was just something I joked about, not a real thing," Greg said.  
  
Alex looked up at him, searching his expression for a moment before he moved to the railing to gaze over at the city. Greg watched him aimlessly. He was feeling strange, but not in a bad way. There was a weird silence about, not helped by neither of them speaking. Alex watched, and he sipped his whisky, and for the first time, Greg could see no submission in his body language at all. Alex was just being Alex, and Greg noticed the difference in how he carried himself. He definitely wasn't little Alex Horne anymore, not in that moment. He didn't seem little now. He was tall and lean and, well, awkwardly gangly in his own way, but he wasn't little. Greg traced the curve of his spine with his gaze, saw how relaxed he was, just watching the world go by. For a moment, he could only focus on the little clouds of steam his breath made in the air, and somehow, it was beautiful, and he had no idea why. He wanted to just stay here and watch him forever, to just appreciate seeing Alex this way for the first time.   
  
And as Alex turned to look back towards him, leaning in a different way, that's when it struck him, and Greg had no way to stop it, even if he'd wanted to. But the look on his face, the calm, happy, tired, slightly weary gaze, the way he slowly sipped that whisky, his soft gentle breathing, God, Greg had never seen Alex like that, because he was suddenly beautiful in a way he'd never realised before. In a way that overwhelmed all the defences around his heart and let his love for him pour out to flood his body at last. There was no going back now. He even sighed wistfully - wistfully! God, he was hopeless when he was in love - watching the little clouds of his breath, that's how smitten he suddenly was. He was sure he was wearing a stupid, dopey grin, too, but if he was, Alex didn't say anything when he looked at him and smiled back.  
  
"I think I finally got you drunk enough, Greg," Alex commented without even a hint of smugness, even though Greg thought he had every right to be smug about his current predicament.  
  
Greg didn't reply, but brought Alex into a tight hug, refusing to let go. That was what sealed it for him. He felt that utterly magnetic connection deep in his soul. This love wasn't going away, nor did he want it to. To hell with the consequences. He was nearly fifty, for Christ's sake. Did he really want to be miserable for the rest of his life when Alex was right here waiting for him? A man who made him so happy, who made him laugh, who knew just how to take care of him? No, he didn't. It's what he'd told Jon Richardson when he was asking him to be his boy, that sometimes, love comes to you in a way you're not expecting. Well, Greg had not expected Alex, but here he was, clinging to him, both of them quite comfortably drunk now, but that didn't change the intensity of his feelings for him.   
  
"I'm sorry it took me so long, Alex, I just-"   
  
"Don't, please, you can't rush love," Alex said, interrupting him.   
  
"I love you, Alex, I just - God, I love you so much. I'm not afraid to say it anymore," Greg said, breathing in everything about him. God, he even smelled beautiful, and he knew his scent so well now, but even that surprised him. He longed for that scent when he wasn't there, he knew he had, and he loved it. He'd become that kind of lover who might have stowed away a jumper he'd left behind and smelled it when Alex wasn't there, just to remember him. To comfort him.   
  
Greg felt Alex breathe out happily in his arms, because Alex had really been waiting years for him to say that he loved him, and he felt his relief was probably justified, if he was being honest. And then he felt Alex begin to cry, his body shaking just a little, as he clung to him even tighter.   
  
"I never believed you would ever say that, Greg. I never thought you would ever love me. You were so against it for so long. What changed your mind?" Alex said.  
  
"You did. I don't want to be alone anymore. I want to be your partner. Come on, come inside, let's make love properly, like lovers, not as master and servant, because you clearly can't do subspace tonight, nor would I let you, given how much you've drunk tonight," Greg said.  
  
Alex laughed, but he knew it was true. He pulled away from him and looked up at him with tears gently rolling down his cheeks. "Does this mean I might get a proper Valentine's next year? Can we go away together? Just a weekend, just for us? Please?"   
  
"Ooh, I hadn't thought of that, but I guess so. Maybe I won't throw out your card this time. Where did you want to go?" Greg said.  
  
"Wales, Greg. Let's go to Wales. I think it's time, don't you?" Alex said.  
  
Greg couldn't get mad at him for suggesting it. It had been on his mind for a while, that perhaps he should just go to the mountain and just see what happened, but he'd been too scared to go, and not willing to admit it might be an actual calling. But all his doubts had vanished now. Alex's love made him feel brave in ways he had not expected. "Alright, we'll go to Wales. To the mountain."  
  
"Even if it comes to nothing, at least you'll know either way. And we'll get a lovely trip away together," Alex said.  
  
"That's very true. Come on, it's really getting nippy out here, I want you inside where I can love you properly," Greg said, pulling Alex back inside.   
  
Greg brought him into a kiss, hungry, eager, in between throwing their coats off, and their shirts, and everything else they were wearing. Greg hadn't planned for it to be this intense, nor this fast, but it was like there was nothing stopping them now, so why hold back? Alex even took his hand and pulled him into the bedroom, where he slid onto the bed, bringing Greg with him. They were naked and drunk and horny, and Greg never wanted to stop touching him at all.   
  
Alex was a different kind of lover when he wasn't being submissive, Greg discovered. There was still a lot that was the same, but Alex seemed bolder, more willing to chase his own pleasure as much as spend time giving pleasure to Greg. Greg found that changed how he related to him, because Alex wasn't bowing to him, but seemed determined to get them both hard and make this work. Alex never asked for pleasure like this, never sought it out as readily as he did then. He clung to Greg, touching him everywhere, stroking his cock eagerly, kissing him, kissing his neck, breathing in everything that was going on between them. Greg found it all intoxicating.   
  
They were possibly a little too drunk for this, and occasionally, he felt his head go, but he was so turned on, and Alex was just so _there_ with him, and he was just so fucking _hard_ and he just couldn't stop it, he didn't want to. And, perhaps, the sex itself, when it finally arrived, was clumsy and filled with laughter and probably a little too fast for the way Greg had pictured this moment in his head, but it didn't matter. He even managed to get a condom on without fucking it up, which he was impressed with. And then he fucked Alex hard into the mattress, leaning over him, kissing him, fisting his cock until they both had their pleasure. Greg even let Alex come first, and the sound he made as his orgasm flooded him while Greg was still fucking him made him scream in a way Greg had never heard before, but he very much enjoyed hearing. And Greg screamed too, holding him tight, every muscle throbbing in crazy ways, and Alex kissed him and kissed him and Greg was just done.   
  
Greg wasn't entirely sure what had happened after that point, but he didn't really mind, because he woke up with Alex lying in his arms, and his heart full of love for him, and he was sure nothing would ever feel as good as this moment did. Sometimes love really was right next to him, where he belonged. Greg kissed his head, tangled their fingers together, and whispered 'I love you' to Alex before he closed his eyes and let himself drift back to sleep again.


End file.
